I have a 91 yr old mother who is now living in my state (4 hrs from her home) due to an injury where she can no longer care for herself. My sister had stopped visiting her for at least a year prior to that, due to a spat they had over use of Mom's farm. I started visiting periodically, to pay bills and see if she was getting along ok. My sister's daughter in law had been (reluctantly) taking groceries to her, and in return Mom paid for them as well as thousands for their summer vacation. I finally convinced my sister to pack Mom's stuff so she could come to live close to me.
We are joint POA’s for her, but Mom had made me a co-signer on her checking after she got mad at my sister. My sister insisted on changing the checking account to be under the POA. So now my sister is using Mom's farm for her cattle, and recently suggested selling or giving property to one of her kids. When my step dad passed away, she got life insurance, said that we agreed to give it to the grandkids (never even discussed with me), so my daughter got 1/10th and she has 4 kids. I let it go, because it would have been a fight.
Now I want to amend or revoke the POA so she can’t sell or give away property, unless anyone knows a legal way to do it otherwise? Mom has some money in her account, but nursing homes are expensive, and her property may have to be sold to pay bills.
1. But I think another aspect factors in, which is whether or not your mother's farm was used, and /or your sister's use of it for her cattle are for profit enterprises, i.e., for sale. If either are running a business, and it's considered legally as a "going concern" that would bring in factors of valuation of the land, the cattle, profit or loss, etc.
2. Are the cattle collateral for any aspect of the farm, or property? (This isn't as unusual as it may seem.)
3. Are there any liens on the farm? If so, are the cattle the collateral?
4. "we agreed to give it to the grandkids (never even discussed with me)," ...who is "we"? Were the discussion and alleged agreement codified in writing?
5. Did your mother create a Will?
Your Mom should have not given any of that insurance money away. At her age, Medicaid could have been needed at anytime. Look back is 5 years. There are penalties for spending large amounts of money in that time.
You could sell to one of her kids, at Market Value. You can't give land to him. Again, 5 yr look back.
How about you arrange to go, together with mom, to see an eldercare attorney well-versed in Medicaid.
Assure Sissy that if she pulls a fast one with the property, mom will be living with HER, since gifting the proerty will result in mom not being eligible for Medicaid.
Stand firm on this and don't let your "soft spot" for your mom guide your thinking.