Mom has mild dementia, is legally blind, and is very stubborn. She has been told not to drink or take certain OTC meds. She refuses to listen and founds her ways to get ahold of whatever she wants. I am her only caregiver and POA and I try my hardest to keep her on course, but she insists that she is an adult and can do whatever she wants. I am worried that if something happens, I will be held responsible. She lives by herself and can manage. Anyone have any ideas?
As to whether we are to keep them our elders safe or make them happy - that's an individual decision. Unless someone has dementia- and being eccentric not the same thing as having dementia - my personal belief is that they have a right to be as happy as they can while they still have some life left.
This does not carry into areas where they can harm others such as driving a car when they are no longer capable of doing so safely.However, if they are not hurting others and don't have dementia then I'd vote for happiness. That would be my preference. If my choices shortened my life then so be it. Others disagree. However, I've seen what taking away what these elders deem pleasures (even if younger adults disagree) can do to the elder. Some just give up and die.
The bottom line as far as the original question goes is check state law if you are worried about liability with being POA.
Take care, everyone. Great discussion!
Carol
My parents were also very stubborn and had age decline memory issues being in their 90's. I didn't like some of their choices, like still living in a house with a lot of stairs, so anytime they fell on the stairs, well it was their choice to stay in that house. I would just shrug my shoulders and say "and why are you still living in this house????"
A donor can appoint just one attorney, or more than one attorney, to act as follows:
"jointly" – they must always make decisions together
"jointly and severally" – they have to make some decisions together and some individually
Noe all the advice I have had is to have joint and several because in the event one person dies, goes on holiday, or whatever then the whole process goes down the tube
They have to be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian before they become active
If you have POA over health and welfare then you can decide:
where the person is to live
whether a care home or a nursing home is best for them, and which one
whether the person can continue to live at home with help from social services
You can also decide whether the donor should
receive healthcare treatment
not receive a particular healthcare treatment
stop receiving a particular healthcare treatment
Some donors may have made an advanced directive while they have "mental capacity".
If the donor made a decision, in advance of losing their mental capacity, to refuse future medical treatment (known as an advance decision), you cannot override their decision unless the LPA was made later and specifies that you have that power.
A POA over finance cannot determine any of the above HOWEVER
they are allowed to make decisions on the donor's behalf. These include:
writing cheques and paying bills
selling or renting property
carrying out their trade or business
honouring any contractual obligations
conducting legal proceedings on their behalf
The POA is allowed to make gifts in the following circumstances:
on customary occasions to those related to or connected with the donor i.e. birthdays and Christmas
to any charity to which gifts had or might have been expected to be made
as long as the value of each gift is not unreasonable in the circumstances
It is quite critical therefore that the POAS (if they are different) do at least speak to each other!
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