I'm a long-distance caregiver for an elderly cousin with middle-stage dementia who recently entered assisted living. Now I need to pack and close out her apartment. Any tips? The issues: What to send to her new room; what to keep (as her PoA); what to throw out, and how to throw it out. (Do I hire someone to take things to a thrift store, for instance?) And some things I'll want to send to other family members, but they all live in far-flung states -- what's the easiest way to get things from her place to our various homes? I'll have only a few days to sort and pack, and she has piles and piles of things to go through -- she was the keeper of our family's memorabilia, so I don't want to just ditch stuff without looking at it. Anyway, my head is spinning, so all tips appreciated!
You can hire a clean-out company once you are done packing the stuff that is irreplaceable like family memorabilia. You can go through that stuff at a later date.
Items that you know she treasures and will personalize her space ought to be sent to her.
Have family asked for specific items? If so, set those items aside to be dealt with and shipped after you are done closing out her apartment. You should not have to deal with shipping big items to far-flung family.
Once you've removed the family memorabilia, her treasures, and items you want and for which family have specifically asked, there are estate liquidators if she has nice furniture, artwork, china, etc. who will come in, look at everything, make you an offer, and haul it away. Antiques/thrift shops usually offer such services.
And if stuff is still left, call a clean-out/junk hauler.
Whose going to take over being the keeper of the family memorabilia?
If you really don't have time to get the place completely cleaned out on this trip, try to deal with just the paperwork and family items and get them out of the apartment. There are companies that will then come in to clean out (sell, donate, haul to trash) the leftover stuff.
Having a real time limit on getting this done may be a good thing as you can't agonize over every decision. Just throw things into the keep/donate/trash pile and don't look back.
We started with a definite plan about what she would need, and could fit in her room. Everything else had to go. Once that was decided, I hired a moving company to handle the furniture. They dropped the unwanted things at a GoodWill, and moved the rest to her room. I even found a “labor only” moving service to handle moving some things straight to the dumpster.
If there are things that other family members want, UPS Stores (among others) can pack and ship just about anything. Be warned...this can be very expensive, so I would contact your family members with an estimate and ask them to pay for it. They may decide that Great-Grandma's cast iron skillet isn’t really worth the $150 it would cost to pack and ship it!
An alternative might be to get a small storage unit for this “memorabilia” until others can visit and take things with them. Set a time limit, though, or it will sit there forever!
Be ruthless and donate anything that no one really wants. The headaches of dealing with “stuff” aren’t worth it. The bottom line is that they are just things...it’s the people and the memories that are important.
The UPS store is a good start for items to be sent to other family members. Make sure the family members really want these items. And if you are flying in to help your cousin, you can UPS boxes of paperwork to your home and have someone pick up the boxes until you return. Otherwise, rent an SUV and drive back home.
Find a thrift shop nearby where you can take things over to them. Anything left over, call one of those junk hauling places, they usually can come the next day. Some haulers even will do the donating and send you the receipts..
Good luck, hope it all goes smoothly. I remember clearing out my parents house to sell, it felt like it was never ending :P Thus the reason my sig other and I are clearing out my house of "stuff" this month.
I used under the bed boxes to store clothing seasonally. I took towels, and bedding. A couple of sets of sheets and pillow cases.
Now apartment. Clean by room. Get rid of clothes she will never wear. If she is wearing Depends, throw out underwear. Shoes, keep basic ones. I kept a pair of black, blue, brown and white sandals.
Check to see if there is codicil to her Will to see if she has left certain things to certain people. Even check her will. You can put those things aside till her passing. As you clean out you will know what to keep and what to get rid of. Memorabilia could go to the family member that is the historian of the family.
Paperwork. Keep statements back 5 yrs in case you need them for Medicaid. Checks too. Tax records 5 to 7 yrs. Of course Insurance policies, bond, stock, shares. Really I boxed everything up and took it home until I could go thru it.
Kitchen. Just keep a few things she can use in her kitchenette. Items that can be used in a microwave. Pack up the good stuff, get rid of the junk.