Make store returns as a caregiver. Embarrassing or ok?

How does your father get these products he's always returning?
If he does his own shopping then he can do his own returns.
You could return some things within reason if they are defective. Not if they aren't. If he didn't like the scent of the soap he bought, that's not the store's fault.
I had a care client many years ago who I had to do shopping for. She would send me to return just about anything to the store. Food, household items, even toilet paper because it went 10 cents off the next day. She didn't understand that prices in the 1990's were not the same as in the 1890's. She'd expect top-shelf name brand items but wasn't willing to pay for them. So when I bought off-brand products because they were cheaper, she'd get angry.
It got to the point where I was spending more money on gas for my car running around returning things for her then I was making.
One day I just told her. I will not do any more store returns. She got less fussy about everything because she still needed someone to shop for her and everyone in the agency had quit her.
Tell your father that you're not doing returns anymore on small items like soap. Keep a notebook though of things and brands that he likes and ones that he doesn't. This will make your life a whole lot easier.

I will return items if I have a good reason. But it's not more than a couple of times a year, at most.

Notgoodenough,
I do return for my husband as well.

My fav show still, the best return on Seinfeld, when Kramer returns half eaten peach and is banned from the store. What am I going to do for fruit? He asked Jerry. Go to supermarket. That's impossible! They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy. The oranges are dry. I don't know what's going on with the Papayas!
My sentiment exactly! But I never return fruit, although lately they are really bad and I hate wasting, some items, they don‘t even check expiry date and customers have every right to return it. I am not going to pay $50 or more for face cream which I recognize once I open it it smells funny. I am notorious for buying lots of clothes and returning them as they look different in stories, of course unused. Since I shop almost exclusively at one store, they know me, I don‘t feel any shame, I tell them why and it is OK.
I knew one woman returning after wearing something once or twice, I did not hesitate to tell her how that was not right.

This is reminiscent of my Grandma who would routinely let food go bad in her fridge and then return it to the store. I often took her grocery shopping, and it was embarassing to have her returning a $2 ham steak that was fuzzy and green--this was before expiration dates, but you can't keep meat from turning and she would make a fuss if they wouldn't reimburse her.

At 94 yo she was still doing this and the stores were very kind. I don't remember an instance where they didn't refund her money. Probably b/c stores do have a built in 'loss margin' where things are simply going to go bad and they have to 'eat it'. as it were.

It was embarrassing for me, but I lived through it. I really tried to encourage her to store food more properly--like in the FREEZER, for example. She never got 'better'.

Since Dad seems to be getting weaker and weaker, you may not have to deal with returns anyway. If you do the shopping, only get what you know he likes.

Our neighborhood grocery shore used to have regulars who would return food for exchange. They’d claim that a bag of avocados etc. was bad and get another one. The store ate these losses as they figured that maybe these people were starving as opposed to playing poor so they could get more free stuff.

This dad has his own house, aides paid for entirely by Lisa’s brother, and then Lisa to wait on him. His so called thriftiness and that of the likeminded is just charity to virtually everyone else, the price of biz to get someone not to have a fit.

I had an Aunt who was married to a cheapskate bully who had plenty of money. He on more that one occasion made her return cooked, half eaten food to the grocery store, one time being a roast. Not sure why but do crazy people really need "a good reason" to do the things they do? It seemed like a hobby or sport to them. Unfortunately, the store owner, not the manufacturer of the soap, takes the hit since they may not be able to restock a hygiene item, even if it was never used. There are many items that cannot be restocked even if never used. This is because the store can't be sure that, if it was a refrigerated or frozen item, it was kept cold while the customer had it -- even if it is returned unopened.

In the case of the soap, I don't think it was wrong to return if never opened or used it but maybe ask if it is an item that can be restocked. My local store will flat out refuse to refund money to non-restockable items. I personally don't want to unknowingly spend $6 on a bar of soap that someone had in their house or shower...ew.

No embarrassment whatsoever. I return things especially cosmetics if they smell bad.
Having plenty of money does not mean wasting it.

Start a donations box either known or unbeknownst to him.

Im assuming he buys these things himself as a "very thrifty and an educated consumer." If I were in your shoes I would consider doing shopping for him or accompany him, and only buy tried and true grocery items. In my opinion only, the occasional return of defective or unopened, unused items is fine if you want to be bothered with it; otherwise I would use it myself, donate or trash it and chalk it up to lesson learned. Bottom line is if it makes you uncomfortable don't do it. You are the important one here.

I have to ask...
Is this a new or more recent "thing" with him?
Is there a reason he does not return items to the store?

You can tell him..
1) The store will no longer accept opened items. New policy, unless the item is obviously spoiled.
2) If he wants an item returned he must do the return. (if he is able)
3) Take the items he no longer wants and tell him you will take them home and use them...if they are usable. If it is a good food item you do not want but is still unopened donate it to your local food pantry. there are a lot of people now that are not in the same position as your dad and need to utilize the food pantry

You do not mention your dad in your profile only that you are caring for mom. Does dad have medical problems that make going to the store difficult?

Is there a reason you cannot take dad to the store and let him return the unwanted items? I still don't understand what is wrong with your father. Does he just stay in his house and never leave?

No way I’d do it. I frequently return items I buy, but they’re unused, in original packaging, and something I’ve truly found I can’t use. I’d not be embarrassed in my community for the whims of another, but that’s me

Lisa, this seems a decision that an adult should be able to make for him or herself entirely dependent on he or she feels about the situation.

Well let's see; you said you're embarrassed for being labeled as you were by the customer service staff for returning a used bar of soap.

Yet the store is close by and there is no wait in line to return things that have no business being returned in the first place.

Tough decision.

It’s no ones business but the store as to whether they do returns.

That said, it may not be with it for YOU, literally, to be returning a $6 item. You have to get gas. Then you have to wait in line for up to an hour.