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My mother has dementia and is not able to care for herself. Her spouse refuses to apply for state Medicaid benefits because of concern over assets that might get tapped. Her spouse also does not want to care for her and gets upset if she falls because calling a ambulance is “getting old”. There is no physical abuse but the emotional abuse is heartbreaking. The spouse does not like caregivers in the house but has allowed a couple of visits but finds them intrusive. I’ve said that my mother can live with me but how would I tap into Medicaid benefits. They have a home they own together and a few other assets the spouse is trying to protect. I also don’t have all their financial information. How can I help her obtain benefits?

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First off, Don't have your mother live with you. You will be in over your head and you will get no help from Medicaid. Next, husband needs to apply for LTC Medicaid or see an attorney to plan to structure the assets to pay for her care. If he is unwilling to do that, I would strongly suggest calling APS. What you are describing is elder abuse and neglect.
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MsP1996 Sep 2022
Spouse tells her it’s okay for my mom to make the decision to die. Mom just wants to be taken out for a walk. Also, I’m in a different state, which makes it all very difficult.
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It’s clear that Medicaid availability and the long term asset rules are very complicated, and vary from state to state. Spouse ‘thinks he knows’, but the chances are that he doesn’t. Perhaps you tell him that a young savvy businessman checks out the options carefully, and doesn’t jump to conclusions. Then go with him to the meeting, so that you both know and remember exactly what was said.
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Her spouse can have their assets split . Her split going towards her care in a LTC facility that takes Medicaid. When her split is spent down, then you apply for Medicaid. The spouse will remain in the house, be allowed a car and get enough of their monthly income of SS and any pensions to live on.

ALs are private pay. Medicaid in some States will pay for AL if the person has paid privately for at least 2 yrs. The AL must except Medicaid and the resident has to remain at the facility they have been living in.
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