I've hit the wall with my mom. Her living with us is no longer an option.
I have a tour scheduled tomorrow with a, hopefully, good place., They allow smoking in a lounge so it's probably all good for her. Arggh!
My question is: As I understand it, some kind of medical history is needed to admit a person to an ALF. My mom has not seen a doctor for a checkup in years, probably 30 years or more. Do I need for her to see a doctor before they will accept her? I know I can ask the NH director tomorrow, but I would like a few answers so I don't feel so dumb when I tour tomorrow. I am spending my precious few respite hours on this and want to be prepared.
Sorry so late to ask this question but as we all know, things don't always happen on a logical timeline.
Hugs to all and thanks for your help,
Suzie
You sound like you've gone way beyond what many people would do.
They will want to check her heart and her ability to get around, etc. Most ALFs don't cover medical care, but you can eventually hire in-home care there is needed.
Take care of yourself. Get this done : )
Carol
I am hopeful that my visit to the facility today will be enlightening and I'll find the answers and support both mom and I need. She quit eating and talking to me since this subject came up yesterday morning. I'm trying to stay positive in the face of her crushing negativity.
I will get this done. I really see no other choice.
Suzie
Good luck...finding the right placement for both parent and child is never satisfying. You just need to do your best...
I've been visiting her everyday, scared at first she would hate me, but I listen patiently to her requests and try to fulfill them as best I can. , I believe, one of the few places that allows indoor smoking in the state. Right now she's enjoying being out on their patio garden everyday, having her cigs and a little glass of wine while she does her puzzle books. She loves dogs and they have a couple of sweeties that live there visiting everyone all day long. Her biggest complaint is she can't smoke in her room and it took a couple of days to get free cable. Oh, and the food's really bad even though their chef graduated from Le Cordon Bleu. I attribute it to trying to maintain a low salt diet for residents. Home cooks and restaurants use a lot of salt. I know I do. :(
I made her an absolute favorite of hers' today, Tuna Macaroni Salad to keep in the fridge since she's not eating much. Had to go get paper bowls and plastic utensils since she's too shy to ask them to wash her own stuff. I was happy the beauty salon did great today. She looks like Rue Maclanahan from Golden Girls and she knows it. This might be a good thing....at least for awhile...until the next shoe drops.
I told her I probably wouldn't be able to visit tomorrow, but will be there for certain on Thursday. She didn't seem too upset, but she's quite stoic. I told my husband she'd rule the place in two weeks. I was trying to be sarcastic at the time. Now I'm not so sure. It could be true. :)
I'm so, so, very thankful my great dad set her up financially the way he did on a teacher's budget. I don't want a dime. They gave me everything, I am and have, already.
Guilt has kept me up the past few (many) nights and I send my love and prayers to all who are living the life of a caregiver.
Suzie
I truly hope this is the start of less stress and more enjoyment.
Thanks for keeping us posted!