Memorial. Any advice?

Perhaps you can have some small family gathering for a burial or committal of her ashes, then a larger event at a later date. Your sister needs some closure, and I get that.

My mother died at the end of July, and we had to wait a month until her service because everyone in her church decided to die then, too, and the calendar was booked. Honestly, I felt like I was in limbo until we could have the service, and I hated that feeling. We had to wait two weeks to do my dad's service, which was bad enough (he died the day before Thanksgiving), but it was what it was.

Dragging out the closure phase of a death is very painful for some people. Try to have some compassion for your sister's feelings, and frankly, a memorial service takes very little effort to set up in comparison to a wedding. You could have the entire thing put together in a few days.

Your sister rightly feels that an inconvenient scheduling conflict isn't a good reason to postpone a memorial.

Mother passed and we didn't have her service for 11 days after. My sister had planned for an anniversary golf trip (non-refundable) for her & her DH. She wanted to wait until after the trip.

It was really just fine. Gave us time to do a lot of cleaning and YS (who can be a pill) was not there to complain & criticize.

She got back the morning of the funeral and all went well.

You are right to feel as you do, so is sister. Try to come together on a plan. Divisiness is not a good part of funeral planning.

From what I see ur last post was June and Mom was in a Board and Care. I will assume she has passed. Sorry for your loss.

My MIL died Mar 1st, her memorial wasn't till May. She was cremated and buried with her husband in a National Cemetery where we live. May was picked because it was their anniversary and her birthday. So a Memorial can be held anytime.

I would like the Spring. New life emerging. Warmer weather nicer for people.

My neighbor passed from cancer on Christmas morning. His partner told us they would have a private burial right away but that there'd be a memorial service in the spring when it was warmer out (we're in MN). Totally reasonable and very common. Covid got us all used to delayed gatherings.

Memorials are often held later, my mom's was about six weeks later. It allowed time for other family members to plan the trip and complete plans they had already scheduled. I think it is more common than not to delay.

It is largely personal preference so there is no right or wrong way. Sounds like a negotiation.

No. A memorial in the spring gives time to plan, and if people have to travel, it’s easier then. Try using these as your talking points, and by the way, you could have your own memorial whenever you like. It’s not unheard of to have more than one.