I won’t say the name but this place blames me for every time my parent acts out after I leave. So they banned my visiting and my phone calls. Please believe me I don’t upset him while I’m there I don’t even know he does this when I leave. I suspect it’s because he so wants to go home so bad. My sibling won’t let him. The facility is unreasonable and won’t talk to me about anything.
Do the other siblings run into this same situation? Are they no longer allowed to visit Dad during this time frame? Hopefully this will be just a phase your Dad is going through. Just let the phase run its course.
Would you be able to ask the Memory Care admin to set up a meeting to get some suggestions on what to do? This isn't their first rodeo so they could recommend various things.
If you are visiting a lot, maybe it was too much, not allowing Dad to get accustom to his new home, the Staff, and the other residents.
I don't think that a MC unit can ban you unless your sibling tells them to. Have you been able to speak with anyone at the facility, such as the Administrator or the case manager? Have you talked to your sibling about this? That might be the place to start.
When they both moved to the facility I didn't visit for a couple of weeks because my visit did stir them up and they just wanted to ask why they are there and can they go home. They still have days when the visit deteriorates into them asking all kinds of questions, wanting to go home, complaining.. when that happens I quickly leave. I only stay around when the visit is positive and they are enjoying it.
While I am there I try to be positive about the place, the residents, and the employees there. I never act like I feel sorry for them being there... and point out all the positive aspects as much as possible. If I have any complaints about the place.. I don't discuss them around them at all.
I haven't seen any disruption from any other family visits yet.. but I'm sure if there were they would suggest for the family to hold off on visits until they become better adjusted.
I notice the new residents all go through this adjustment period (some are so angry and confused). Even visits from other residents family members gets them stirred up. One lady just moved in and walks around with her purse.. and follows me asking for a ride when I leave the facility.... which complicates my visit and my escape route from my own parents... lol.
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