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I have asked before about my mother possibly having early signs of dementia. Long story short; I have been unable to get her to go to the doctor for a check up. During this time, I have noticed that her memory loss is related to past events more than current. What I read indicates that dementia affects the recent memory most of the time. She tells the same childhood and early life stories over and over, but now is telling them wrong or with a different outcome. Last night we had bread pudding and she said, this is interesting cake. I told her it was bread pudding and she said, "I always wondered what that tasted like". I know for a fact she has eaten bread pudding dozens of times in her life. She mumbles constantly and the hearing loss is becoming quite an issue with us feeling like we are living in an echo chamber as she repeats what someone else has said with regularity. A few weeks ago she came to me telling me she was in financial trouble and I advised her to just tell them to set up a payment plan or to file bankruptcy. She was to bring me her bills so I could get her a budget. Fast forward several weeks and I have seen no bills and now she is back to free spending and no concerns about money. Anyone have any tips on how to convince someone to get a doctor visit when they don't want to? I have no signed POA over her and have run out of "tricky" ways to do it. Do I just say....Hey I think you are losing your marbles; let's go see if the doctor agrees?

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Tluther, does anyone have financial or medical PoA for your mom? I read below that she is still sharp enough to not be able to "trick" her into a doc appt... Is it possible to take a video of her doing something uncharacteristic and then in a calm moment, talk about how you've become a little concerned about this behavior. When she waves you off, show her the video. She may just make an excuse for it, or she may have a sober moment. At this time you could suggest going in to test for a UTI since it can have no other symptoms in the elderly except for confused thinking or other dementia-like symptoms. This is less threatening than a test for dementia. If you get her to the doc, pass her/him a discrete note to also test for cognitive skills. And while there, have your mom sign a HIPAA form giving the doc authority to discuss/release medical info regarding your mom to you, and then they can accept medical info FROM you as well. It doesn't give you the authority to make medical decisions for her, just enables docs to discuss her medical info/treatment with you legally.

If your mom doesn't designate a PoA, it will be a rocky road so anything you can do to convince her to get her legal ducks in a row will be extremely helpful to getting good care for her in the future. Good luck!
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Tluther Oct 2019
That’s a good idea. She will be quite angry I’m sure to see the video, but I have tried too many other tactics with no results. I had forgotten about UTI’s causing strange behavior so that’s a handhold I can use. No one has any sort of POA on her. She won’t even discuss it; much less be willing to pay for it.
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Here is some info I found online about the 4 types of memory loss:

Four Types Of Memory Loss

Memory loss isn’t a simple thing, and there are many factors at work when considering the process of memory loss. There are four different types of memory, sensory, short-term, working and long term memory.

Short-Term Memory
Short-term memory loss is one of the first symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. You might recall your loved one asking the same question multiple times in the course of a day or a couple of days. This is commonly described as the inability to recall information that was just recently given to you. The amount of time concerning ‘short-term’ can be from a couple of seconds, up to a few days.

Sensory Memory
Sensory memory is considered the ‘shortest term’ memory. It usually is only 3 seconds and it relates to recalling sensory experiences (memories related to seeing, hearing, tasting, etc.) Sensory memory is often not referred to so much in detecting Alzheimer’s because it is subtle and these memories are too short.

Working Memory
Working memory is also noticed in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease, as it is closely linked to the short-term memory. Working memory is what allows our brains to keep limited amounts of information stored up long enough to use it. It helps us to process our thoughts and to form plans, as well as to develop ideas. As you can see, the short-term memory and the working memory work together.

Long-Term Memory
Long-term memory is usually visible in Alzheimer’s patients later on in diagnosis. These memories are from a few weeks to early memories from life. The process of memory moves from sensory to short-term to long-term. This explains why long-term memory is the last to be affected in the disease.

Here is a link with lots more info about memory loss which may be helpful to you in determining what's happening with your mom. Not sure how to get her to the doctor, but I do like Ahmijoy's idea about telling her it's an insurance requirement now to get a physical yearly.

https://www.healthline.com/health/long-term-memory-loss

Best of luck!!!
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Tluther Oct 2019
I’ll read up on this.
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No, I don’t think you should say that. How insulting. If you were my kid and said that to me, I’d turn you over my knee, grown up or not.

Explain to your mother that she needs to go to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor called and wants to see her. She needs a check-up to keep her insurance and so the doctor can keep writing her prescriptions for her medications (if she takes any). Write to the doctor before you go and share with them what you wrote to us.
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Tluther Oct 2019
I was being facetious there at the end. Obviously I wouldn’t be saying that to her. If were that simple to fool her; I wouldn’t need new ideas. She knows how many refills she has and she knows when it’s time to go to the doctor.
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