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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Are there reasons why it's hard for her like being able to stand up or get to the bathroom? If so, deal with the problem and maybe you'll get better compliance.
My dad would use the toilet but then be so exhausted that he'd tell me that he was too tired and would just brush his teeth in the morning, thinking that would suffice for me.
It might sound a bit odd, but I'd actually use his dementia to get what I wanted. I'd say, "oh no Dad, we can't do that!" He'd ask why not. So I'd say, "well you'll for sure have more of those mouth sores by morning from all the bacteria, and you remember how much you hate mouth sores and blisters, right?" I never suggested he might get them because I knew his operative word would be MIGHT. Instead, I just treated it as if it was a matter of fact. Actions and consequences and reminded how much he hated the consequences. All of a sudden, brushing the teeth didn't sound as bothersome as the alternative.
That's a bit difficult to argue with, even if you can't remember ever having a mouth sore. Nobody likes mouth sores, and most folks aren't willing to risk a blister. He never had them, but that's because we would always get those teeth brushed... and gargle with saline. Every night, the same routine.
In the morning he didn't mind brushing them so much but sometimes he'd object. But one thing about Dad is that he loved his coffee (never knew I switched him to decaf). If he objected in the morning, I'd remind him how much not brushing his teeth would prevent him from tasting his coffee and how much the gunk in his mouth would make the coffee taste like dirty dishwater. He couldn't have that, so he'd brush his teeth.
Find something they really like or dislike and build a logical case with that being the consequence. But leave the decision up to them. People with dementia don't get the obvious ploy, so don't be afraid to play it up or make one of the choices really obnoxious to them or a way that they would lose out.
Remember choices, but just two choices. One choice is what you want them to do, and the other one is one you know they will reject soundly. After getting ready for bed, I'd want him to head to the bedroom next. But telling him that it was time to go there wasn't a choice. So I'd always ask if he wanted to go to bed now or if he'd like to go out and play cards. Dad hated playing cards, so you know what he would always choose.
I hear you. My mom is 92, luckily has her own teeth still, lives in a memory care unit. I can tell from her breath, and from how little of the toothpaste has been used that I bought her about 2 mos. ago, that she is hardly ever brushing her teeth. She swears she is, of course. But she can't remember. I have asked the staff where she lives to make sure she brushes her teeth (not just remind her and then walk away). I take her to dentist every 6 mos. & have asked him to talk to her about it, too, but with dementia, that really does no good, except that later, I can remind her that the dentist (whom she likes) said she needed to brush more often to have better health. (She won't listen to ideas that come from me, but if someone else said it, it influences her more) I have no suggestions for you, but will be curious to see what others say in response to your question. Good question.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My dad would use the toilet but then be so exhausted that he'd tell me that he was too tired and would just brush his teeth in the morning, thinking that would suffice for me.
It might sound a bit odd, but I'd actually use his dementia to get what I wanted. I'd say, "oh no Dad, we can't do that!" He'd ask why not. So I'd say, "well you'll for sure have more of those mouth sores by morning from all the bacteria, and you remember how much you hate mouth sores and blisters, right?" I never suggested he might get them because I knew his operative word would be MIGHT. Instead, I just treated it as if it was a matter of fact. Actions and consequences and reminded how much he hated the consequences. All of a sudden, brushing the teeth didn't sound as bothersome as the alternative.
That's a bit difficult to argue with, even if you can't remember ever having a mouth sore. Nobody likes mouth sores, and most folks aren't willing to risk a blister. He never had them, but that's because we would always get those teeth brushed... and gargle with saline. Every night, the same routine.
In the morning he didn't mind brushing them so much but sometimes he'd object. But one thing about Dad is that he loved his coffee (never knew I switched him to decaf). If he objected in the morning, I'd remind him how much not brushing his teeth would prevent him from tasting his coffee and how much the gunk in his mouth would make the coffee taste like dirty dishwater. He couldn't have that, so he'd brush his teeth.
Find something they really like or dislike and build a logical case with that being the consequence. But leave the decision up to them. People with dementia don't get the obvious ploy, so don't be afraid to play it up or make one of the choices really obnoxious to them or a way that they would lose out.
Remember choices, but just two choices. One choice is what you want them to do, and the other one is one you know they will reject soundly. After getting ready for bed, I'd want him to head to the bedroom next. But telling him that it was time to go there wasn't a choice. So I'd always ask if he wanted to go to bed now or if he'd like to go out and play cards. Dad hated playing cards, so you know what he would always choose.