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BP go up anxiety gets bad, if it was just me having to get the calls all day about staff “stealing” stuff I could handle it, but she will frantically look for item all day & not be diverted. She has heart aneurysm so it’s critical she stays calm. I’m at my wits end!

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My Mom does the same. I remind her that she has short term memory loss. When I can I write down notes and put them on the wall for her. I think they feel very vulnerable when their minds are going which may trigger this.
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Sometimes we have to medicate to calm and anxious person. Yes, it can cause an uptick in 'falls' but if it can help the patient to be calmer and better to divert--I say go ahead and try a small dose. Somebody constantly repeating their worries over and over is maddening.

My mom focuses on things 'walking out the door' and truth it, stuff IS walking out the door. She's hoarded out her place and we recently had a cleanout that addressed about 30% of the mess. But when any of us sibs go to visit, we will remove stuff that is a tripping hazard or just garbage. For a day or so she will 'miss' the item. Then she forgets. If she were overly concerned about something, we'd stop, but truth is, she doesn't even KNOW she has so much junk.

We're kind of 'Swedish Death Cleaning' right under her nose. BUT, we're just tossing old catalogs and papers and rancid candles and lotions--stuff like that.

When he place got so filled with junk that a visitor cannot sit down anywhere--it's a problem.
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I agree with the strategy when on the phone of giving them a warning if they bring it up, telling them you will need to end the call because of the accusations and then when it happens again say, "I'm so sorry -- I did tell you I wasn't going to listen to that again. I'll talk to you again soon, bye." and then hang up and don't answer if they call you back right away. Give your spirit time to heal. In our family we found this is a phase, and it will probably pass, but no way to know how long it will last or when.
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You might speak with her doctor about this, especially with the anxiety component. This is one of the most common things that the loved ones of those with dementia deal with. As you can imagine, our "stuff" takes priority in our lives for so many years that, in the end, with so many losses, the loss of privacy, the coming and going into our spaces, and the vulnerable feels just head into overdrive. I experienced this with my own brother and there is no way, really, to easily handle this.
I would be brutally honest when this subject comes up. I found it worked with my brother, to say "your mind is not functioning as it should. That is all right, and it is in the normal course of things, but when it does harm to yourself and to those who take care of you, and are unjustly accused, it isn't all right."
That may not work, and to be honest, in most cases nothing DOES work. If Mom has an uptick in anxiety that is also difficult to deal with. Those medications that help may make her more fall prone.
I sure wish you luck with this, but it falls well within the realm of those things, those MANY things, that have no "fix it" answer in this aging process.
Reassure her that she has nothing left with her that others will find worth stealing and if she is worried about things you will provide her a small safe for her closet with a key to wear round her neck.
On the other end of this awful spectrum is the fact that with this most common paranoia it DOES make them vulnerable to those few people who ARE out to do harm, to steal things.
Just wish I had a better answer for you. Do discourage her constant chatter on this as she is forming a well trod path her brain cells wish to travel continuously. Do what diversion you can, even if it is to "have to get off the phone" when calls go South in this manner.
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