I am having to do a short sale on my home. My mom has lived with me for over 10 years. Along with my daughter and her two children. Trying to juggle this transition is exasperating. My mom has dementia and everyday it's the same conversation about why she can't stay in the house. My sisters both live over 900 miles from me and they would like to see her and quite frankly I need a huge break as I have been care taking for over 4 years since her diagnosis. She's insisting she could live on her own and I know she can't. My sisters would like for her to go up by them for awhile which my mom is very upset about she does not want to go. That's when she starts with who is in control of her destiny and that she can live on her own. This is so sad and yet frustrating. I haven't been able to work in the past 8 months which contributed to me losing my home. I don't have time to even think for myself because of this whole situation. My therapist said that I shouldn't feel guilty about making my own move. But everyday with my mom and her constant rehashing the situation is getting me really down. I have suggested senior living, she refuses that also.

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Sapphire56, first of all I'm sorry about your mom's mental deteriorating state, what an awful thing to lose your brain isn't it? Secondly, I am so glad you have sisters who are willing to bear the burden with you. I guess it's time to take control of the situation. I realize your mom thinks she's still able to make these decisions herself, but the fact is she can't. If I were in your shoes, I'd start just talking about her move out of the house as matter of fact. No more arguing about it, or stressing her constant talking about how she can take care of herself, just make it a fact that she's moving to be with your sisters. No more arguing, talk to her in a positive hopeful way that she'll be embarking on a new experience that will benefit everyone, and how happy her other daughters will be. Also, lay the blame on her not being able to live independently at her doctors feet, they don't care. My mother-in-law has dementia/alz and it takes my talking about something A LOT that finally gets her brain to consider it 'old information' so she can remember it and then process that information. That's why it should be YOU talking about her move out of the house and to your sisters area, and how wonderful that will be. Good luck, I know it's hard. Take control.
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