My husband and I have been her POA for a few years now and have handled all her financial and medical needs. The last two months shes been asking to go over her monthly income and questioning why she needs to pay certain bills. She is denying having any when I go over them with her. Mom has parkinsons and has always lived with us and shared the bills with us. She doesn't remember this and claims she has a home in another state (one she sold 20 yrs ago). When I explain she sold that house 20 yrs ago she gets angry and sad and wants to go there because she knows she has a house and we are lying to her.
I've had her talk to longtime friends to confirm my information but she doesn't seem to care. Still thinks we are lying. What can I do? I feel like I'm doing something wrong when I know I'm not. I know I'm not dealing with someone who can be reasoned with but I don't know how to calm her down either.
Acknowledging what they are thinking - I liked the phrase "because of your medications ...your mind is playing tricks on you." Hugs, smiles and a positive attitude (yes - I know that this is hard to portray when you are hurting inside) seems to be the only response.
This is a long hard road. It's wonderful to see the generosity of the people here sharing their pain and their solutions.
Carol
That was my solution. See if it works for you. I think it somehow comforted her because I both ACKNOWLEDGED what she thought and helped her understand why she thought that way.
But your mother genuinely and sincerely believes what she is saying, and what's more she is very clear in her own mind about it. Explaining, as Maggie suggests, why her memory is playing tricks and deceiving her might help (it did for my mother, too); but it could be a long haul and you can probably expect to have to do it with tedious regularity, I'm sorry to say. Another suggestion would be a memory book or scrap album, which could contain a time line showing when the house was sold, when she moved in with you, and so on. Best of luck.
Goodluck!
See All Answers