Mom has moderate alzheimers and we moved her to an independent community a week ago. She is so confused and wanders at night. I have had to stay with her every night. How long shall I give her to adjust before moving her into assisted living? She has become much more confused and angry. She would really hate assisted. Any ideas how I can get a break from staying with her at night? I have a family at home
You shouldn't have to be spending the night away from your family. She will take a few weeks to adjust, and her doctor needs to be aware of what is happening. Work with the professionals to get her to a place where she is safe. You'll have to cope with her anger and confusion no matter what you do, so most likely the quicker the change is made the better. Please check with her doctor for suggestions.
Take care of yourself, too.
Carol
When a person has dementia any move will be confusing due to their memory loss. They have lost the previous "clues" that they are dependent on to orientate themselves. If mom has moderate dementia as much as we like the independent living facility the reality is that it doesn't have the structure and staff to help redirect them and give them the feeling of safety that they need.
An independent living community is not set up for people with Alz. She wanders because she is looking for her house or something familiar. If Assisted is within the same community, move her right away. She is in a time of transition right now and it is not fair to her to have her finally adjust and then move her again. It has taken Daddy 5 months to adjust and he still doesn't like it but is less angry. If you need to, you can hire an outside source PA who will sit with your Mom at night and calm her and remind her where she is. We did that for both Mother & Daddy for their 1st month. Then we weaned them so they would accept the facility's personnel and schedule. I guess what I am trying to say is there are no time-lines. Transition is very hard on everyone. It only gets worse. This has been my experience that minimizing the actual transition is best as they can 'get on with it'.
Mom's room is very pretty and cheerful and she has a private bathroom. An aide gives her a shower twice a week, she goes to their hair dresser once a week,
and she gets to go on many outings with the staff and her "new" friends! I have her house for sale and mom will sometimes say in a wistful voice that maybe she can move home if the house doesn't sell but I gently remind her of the reason that she chose to move out of her house.
If it ever comes to the problem of "wandering", it's not a problem b/c the doors to her house have to be opened and closed with a code. The residents that have brought their pets with them can walk their dogs if they stay nearby. Whenever the resident can't walk his dog b/c of bad weather or other reasons, the staff does it.
This house is probably more expensive than the average ALF ($233/day + RX's +special supplies like DEPENDS, wipes, Ensure, etc.) They have agreed to keep mom when she runs out of money if she can self-pay for 2-3 years, which mom can do, if her house sells!!
From what you've said about your mom, she would probably be better off in an ALF than independent living. Mom gets all of her RX's and I don't have to worry about her taking the wrong RX's. (She once took a suppository by mouth for her
constipation!
Good Luck in whatever decision you make. God Bless You.