Everything she complains about. From the food (which is pretty tasty) to transportation (the bus is too bumpy) to the people there. Everyone has been nice to try to please her. but she is very rigid and change sends her in to an anxiety induced fit. She tells half truth. For example, she said no one came to change her linens. When in fact the AL called me first and told me they attempted to changed the linens but she refused to let them help her. Or no one ever does anything for her, when she turns away help. It's to the point where people are starting to get fed up with her. She's been snappy and rude all of her life to people and now others are not putting up with it. She gets upset with me when I try to clarify things for her...she said I'M THE ONE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. She'll say I don't love her anymore and start to cry. Several doctors says that she doesn't not have dementia. I've tried to overlook her behavior, be kind because she is my mother, but I'm to the point where I simply want to walk away. Any words of hope?
but hey you got over it anyways, and that's great
Since you can't change her and she's always been this way, you need to work on building up your mental defenses and not let her negativity seep into your brain. As they would say on Star Trek, "Put up your shields" when you visit or talk to her. Let those complaints just bounce off. You've offered help and she's refused; you've done what you can. Now you have to protect your own mental health.
Learn to ignore her complaints, if they are based on half truths, you cannot hold others responsible.
If it embarrasses you publicly, do blame it on her age, people won't know she was always a meanie.