Mom (80) has been in MC for about 3 weeks . During this time she has called me several times wanting me to go get her and take her home. I’ve tried to explain to her that I can’t, but she doesn’t understand. She gets mad about that that. She gets mean with me telling me that I don’t care about her anymore and that I’m happy she’s not around me. None of this is true. I cared for her as long as I could before placing her in MC. I physically and mentally couldn’t do it anymore. I asked the nurses not to let her call me anymore. I will call her. Have I done the right thing? Is there a better way to handle this situation? I need all the advice I can get. Thank you
I almost forgot, mom has moderate to severe Alzheimer’s with vascular disease.
My point? Try to let all the BS go in one ear and out the other. "Try" being the key word. Try not to have a brain hemorrhage and I'll do the same. Get your answers down to a science: I'd love to take you home, mother, but the doctor forbids it. I'd love to take you home, mother, but I am simply unable to handle ALL of your health issues myself (that's my standard line). I'd love to take you home, mother, but your wheelchair will not fit into the bathroom/the bedroom/up the stairs/inside the house, etc.
Use the voicemail feature on your phone, it's a very handy tool to ward off depression.
Wishing you all the best of luck finding coping mechanisms and handy dandy answers to give your mom when she starts asking to go home.
Three weeks may not be anywhere NEAR enough time to expect her to have adjusted to her new surroundings and yes, it is easily possible that she’ll be fine with less contact.
YES, you have CERTAINLY done the right thing! You have realized your mother’s physical, cognitive, and emotional conditions make 24/7/365 care, by TRAINED PROFESSIONALS, THE BEST situation you can provide for her. You are doing exactly the right thing. NOW enjoy the peace and calm hat come from knowing that.
hugs
val