kanguiano, if your Mom looks healthy, well rested, and clean, then why worry. Curious, how far advanced is your Mom dementia?
Just think about it, when your Mom is visiting you at the hotel, it gives your brother and his wife a much needed mental rest. Caring for a person, even if it is one's own parent, is very exhausting work. It can be pretty much around the clock.
For myself and my sig-other, whenever his grown and married children come to visit, we have them stay at a hotel. They like it, as the hotel has a pool, and it is more like a vacation. We usually pay for their room. Then they come to our house for a visit, all meals are carry-out.
What a relief, I don't need to clean and tidy up anything upstairs. WhooHoo !! Only rooms to clean are the living room, dining room, kitchen, and half bath. Then I am down for the count because I am tired, and usually dose off while they visit :P
Would you be able to take your Mom home for a couple of weeks to give your brother and his wife a break? Or would that confuse your Mom?
Maybe its his wife is a hoarder. Maybe she isn't the best housekeeper. Maybe she doesn't like visitors, because its all up to her to get things ready. And having 3 kids home from school, makes it a little cramped to have company too.
The first time, when more family came for my dad’s burial service, my brother said that their house wasn’t set up to handle large groups. This time, for New Year’s Eve, I asked if my fiancé and I could stay there or get a hotel and he told me to get a hotel, cause all of his 3 kids would be home from college, and they wouldn’t have room.
Just think about it, when your Mom is visiting you at the hotel, it gives your brother and his wife a much needed mental rest. Caring for a person, even if it is one's own parent, is very exhausting work. It can be pretty much around the clock.
For myself and my sig-other, whenever his grown and married children come to visit, we have them stay at a hotel. They like it, as the hotel has a pool, and it is more like a vacation. We usually pay for their room. Then they come to our house for a visit, all meals are carry-out.
What a relief, I don't need to clean and tidy up anything upstairs. WhooHoo !! Only rooms to clean are the living room, dining room, kitchen, and half bath. Then I am down for the count because I am tired, and usually dose off while they visit :P
Would you be able to take your Mom home for a couple of weeks to give your brother and his wife a break? Or would that confuse your Mom?
I’m wondering what your brother’s stress level is like, living with a hoarding wife and a mom with dementia. Is it time for a new plan?
Visiting at hotel would allow them to leave when they wish & return to a quiet house too.
It is much harder to wind up visitors when they are in your home or ensure guests leave when hinted at/asked to.
Could be wrong. Just a thought? What reason do they give?