My mom has dementia, I have her POA, she says she wants to sell her home and move in with me or get an apt...she has a home that is very sufficient for her...I can go get her and bring her down to my house to spend the nite, and within 30 minutes she is throwing fits, temper tantrums, bec she needs to go home...once she is there she doesnt want to be there either..she says but seems very content...what can I do..she can take her own baths, wash her hair, does her housecleaning,, irons her clothes, cooks...everything...is in neat, clean shape..the doctor did take her drivers license and that is when she really became so irritated..about her house...bec what independence she had is gone. if i take her out, she wants to go do the same thing all the time and then go home...then when I get home she calls and says she hasnt seen anyone in forever and has not been out of the house in days....i have to work and have a lady that goes and takes her out to eat and just drives her around and sits with her 3 to 4 days a week that I pay...but she doesnt remember any of it...
But, since she is not remembering any of this; perhaps it is time for assisted living or some form of elderly housing where there are others around for company and she could walk around the grounds, etc. and meet people. It doesn't appear that she would be content at your house,yet staying in her own home is too lonely and isolated. So, just a thought.
My parents ended up selling their home and moving into elderly housing; it was small; but manageable and they got by. There simply are concessions to be made during the aging process and some are not as bad as others. But all can work together to find some peace and contentment, hopefully. But, if her memory continues to deteriorate she might need a memory unit in a facility. These decisions are most difficult; so many of us have been there and understand. Take care and hope things work out for the best.
I have the feeling that your mother would make your home life very unhappy if she moves in with you. Maybe you can look around at assisted living communities. If you could sell her house, the money could be used to pay her rent. Some of the communities are very nice. Of course, she won't be happy for a while when she moves in. But it sounds like that would be a problem no matter where she lived. You may have to make the decision for her, knowing that you have her best interest in mind. There will be staff to help her keep things clean and to help with her medications. Meals will be prepared. It sounds like it may be just what she needs.
It isn't easy. I don't envy what you're facing. All these things pass, though, so choose what you think best. Much luck and big hugs to you. Many of us here know what you're going through.