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She needs a psychiatric evaluation and the best way to get that is to call 911 when she gets out of control.

Call the EMTs, have her taken in for an involuntary psych hold (Baker Act in some states) and stand firm in your refusal to accept discharge.

Oh, and if they send her home in a cab, call 911 again and your local media.
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I’d call 911 the next time she gets violent. Neither you nor your husband should be taking this on. She needs a better evaluation to find help to calm her and you need a peaceful home. Dementia doesn’t mean accepting abuse
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If a social worker is working hard to get Mom in facility care, then this is a self limiting situation. And you can but offer your sympathy. However, you can ALSO do the ER DUMP and that is quite frankly what I would do.
Next time there is violence MIL is transported by EMT (this is a 911 call) to ER. The Hospital Social Worker is informed on day one that MIL constitutes a serious danger to you and cannot return to the home. It will then be one them to find placement for MIL. Do not fall for any platitudes of "We can help" or "we can make this work" or "we can get you help". They cannot and will not and these platitudes are so they can get you to allow MIL back in the home. As you are already understanding, no one will want to care for a senior with this level of acting out. Medications are difficult in providing control without sending the poor elder into a zombie like state. Their care is time consuming and next to impossible even in the best memory care.
So sorry you are going through all this and hope you will come back to update us.
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lealonnie1 Feb 2022
My mother is NOT in a zombie like state at ALL in her Memory Care ALF Alva; she's quite alert and able to interact with the staff and the other residents even though she's become hard to handle and aggressive with bad sundowning. Her DOCTOR and her hospice team does not think over medicating her is wise.
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