My Mom had a small stroke in Nov.causing short term memory loss. She is also blind and unable to perform everyday tasks. I have been her primary caregiver, living with her, for the past 7 years. I have PO A and have handled her medical and financial things during this time. She resents being told what to do, even when it is for her own good. She then accuses me of yelling at her all the time. Tonight she insisted on walking on her foot that has had a very bad infection and is just getting better...she got so mad at me that, when I was trying to calm her down,she was telling me to leave her alone and then literally let out a loud scream. She then said she will find someone else to take care of her. She was so upset I thought she may have another stroke. I understand that she is having a hard time losing control of her life, but this type of thing is happening more often and I am not sure how to handle it without yelling back. We do have a caregiver coming in 4 days a week, which does help, but the regular caregiver (who she really likes) has been on vacation over the holidays and there has been a substitute. We will be going back to the dr. in about 2 wks, what questions should I be asking him? And, in the meantime, how best do I best handle this and maintain my own frustration levels?
The resentment, yelling, etc. sounds familiar. My cousin started out that way in her dementia. It took years before we knew the cause. But, it could be something else. If that is it, you just have to develop a tough skin and go about doing what you know you need to do. If it is dementia, you'll have to study what to expect and then make your long range plans. Rarely, will the care not increase dramatically.
In the meantime, I might try to provide your mom with as much input as possible. I do that with my cousin, since they have little say about things. I ask things like do you want tea or water, ketchup or not, do you feel like a nap right now, would like a new hair style? I try to allow her input on as many things as possible. It may or may not help, but it's a good thing to try.
Changes in mental status can be scary and can be indications of utis or other infections.