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Hi,
Thank you one and all for all the input/help in the past year. Mom went into hospice this past Friday and passed today peacefully with me holding her hands. I am so numb right now and exhausted from the past couple of years dealing with the day to day challenges of dementia. I haven't had a chance to process all of today yet. The journey for my mom is now over, but for me it is not over yet. Now will come the clean-up: living trust, death certificates, banks, house, inheritance taxes, her taxes...


I sure I hope I will get some kind of sign from my mom to let me know she made it to the other side and will be waiting for me.

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So so sweet that you held her hand that whole time. May you now receive rest and refreshment, and peace in your heart.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
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Elvisman67
So sorry you have lost your mom. It’s beautiful you could be with her and she was able to be in hospice and had the comfort of you with her.
Give yourself a few days to rest.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
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My sincerest condolences on your mom's passing. May all the tasks you have yet to do go smoothly as you negotiate your grief. Peace to you.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
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My deepest condolences to you upon the loss of your mom. She was lucky to have such a loving son and I’m so glad you were able to be with her at the end.

Best wishes to you! 😊
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
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Well done, you. I'm glad you were there and that she passed peacefully. You will get the necessary work done, but maybe take time to sit with this big change and the new feelings it brings for a day or so.

At my grandmother's wake, a man from her church said for me to expect a visit from my grandmother and not to be too startled when it happened, but that he felt it was a common experience (he and others had had it) and he thought I would have this experience, too.

I'm pretty anti-mysticism in nature and just allowed the man to say his piece to me. I could tell it was important to him to say this to me, but I didn't believe his words. But, more than once, I've felt my grandmother's presence since she passed. Mostly it was soon after. I saw her once. In a way that I can't explain, I saw her... like it was some kind of vision or something.

So I'll say to you what the man said to me: Expect the visit. She'll come when it's the right time. And you'll just know, somehow, that she's at peace and that she's never truly that far away, even while you remain on this plane of existence, and she's gone ahead.

Some things just can't be explained through empirical evidence.

Wishing you peace and comfort.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
Thanks. I want that visit and sign soooooo bad! I hope it comes sooner than later.....I'm looking, listening and waiting.
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A big sigh. I am sorry.
Take one day at a time as they say.
The feelings can break through the numbness in wwaves. Go with the waves until they settle. It can take time.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
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I'm glad that you were able to be with your mom when she passed and that she passed peacefully. That is a gift for sure.
Now is the time for you to heal and recover from all that you've been through the past several years. It will take some time, so don't rush the process. Allow yourself time to grieve.
You're going to be ok, and even though your mom won't be with you physically, she will be with you in spirit.
May God give you His peace, comfort and strength in the days, weeks and months ahead.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
Thank you so much.
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Elvis,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. Wishing you peace as you grieve.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
Thanks.
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I am so sorry you have lost your mother. What a comfort for her that you could be there holding her hands.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
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Elvis, as a nurse, and as an atheist, the one thing I DID see with patients who were leaving this realm, was that those who were awake mentioned their loved ones coming for them. So I hope you are right. Many are so at rest, so medicated, that they sleep through, and don't mention such things.

Give yourself some time, and know there is no hurry in your doing the Trust. I advise a Trust and Estate Attorney to help. Even in just getting the tax EIN number online they are a whiz whereas if you do the application yourself and miss something it delays it like mad. They don't cost much if you do a lot of the work yourself. For me the work of settling this stuff kept me busy enough not to think too much.

I am so sorry for your loss. For me, when I lost my brother, who I had written long long letters with when he was alive but living in another town, I wrote him. Decorated it with photos and memories and just discussed my days with him. I did this a bit short of a year. It helped me mourn, but still celebrate his life.

Your Mom was lucky to have you by her side at the end of her journey here.
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elvisman67 Feb 3, 2024
Thank you.
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