Mom is 87. Broke a hip bout year ago & quit walking, using wheel chair. Recently she has switched to her walker part time but she is having severe bouts of Diahria(?) during sleep, during day, in recliner, everywhere & yesterday this happened & the ONLY person o duty at her ALF was on break so she had to wait in it for over 20 min. I asked the adm a while back how to know when to switch & she said she would tell me when. But I worry they are just tryin to stretch it out to keep occupancy rate up. Mom is very high strung & extremely nervous & has frequent panic attacks. She lives 28 miles from me so I can't always just run over there, besides I have a major problem at home with sick hubby. So how do u no when?
(1) Has your mother's doctor evaluated her for medication to help with the nervousness and panic attacks? This might be a good place to start.
(2) Is your mother sociable at all? If so, she probably will enjoy an assisted living facility more than a nursing home.
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(3) Regarding the diarrhea, I am fast becoming a reluctant expert on that condition in the elderly. Recently I learned of a problem that apparently is quite common and I want to share about it, despite the yucky nature of this subject.
My 95-year-old mother has had the runs off and on since September, and then without let-up last week. Friday at the request of her doctor, we went to have her examined at his office. We then were sent directly to the local hospital's ER. This involved long waits and to make the long story short, they took X-Rays and then gave her an enema to try and remove "fecal impaction in rectum." What I thought was diarrhea actually was liquid seeping around the impaction and the real problem is CONSTIPATION.
Based on the ER physician's advice and further research, I have drastically changed her diet. She's back on MiraLAX, gets more fiber in foods, no peanut butter or dairy, and as much liquid as I can get in her (not an easy task at best as you may know).
Please don’t be too hard on the staff because of your mother having to wait 20 minutes for help. Circumstances are such that my mother had to wait considerably longer than that when the flow was constant. I put adult diapers on her. However because of her dementia (or whatever reason) she can’t/won’t change them herself and I do have to sleep. She hasn't suffered any ill effects because of this. Thankfully, she now has improved and does not have to be changed as often.
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Back to your original question, your worries can be eased if you make use of resources such as doctors and the staff at the ALF. Getting an accurate diagnosis is a big step toward peace of mind because then it will be clear what to DO. Taking action is an excellent antidote for stress. God bless.