Mom has 2 of 4 children living. I want to move her with me but don't really want to take her from home. We get her and she's does a 360. Hygiene is better. Attitude is better. I know she's not taking care of herself. Thank goodness they have a neighbor that checks on them. But I don't like the burden placed on her. I'm in FL. My brother in Ga. I have POA. Just not sure when the right time to move her. Step father stays in bed most days. I know Mom is lonely. Not taking her meds correctly. When she's with me she wants to go home 2 days later. When she's home she wants to get away. I don't know what to do. I worry about her constantly. Step father absolutely refuses to move or go any where. Mentally he's fine. Physically he's not. He's beginning to fall often. He tells me he cant care for her anymore. She's so mean to him. I feel so bad. We get her just to give him a break. I know. One day we'll get her for good. How do I tell her she's not going home?
Or it could be a case where your Mom still thinks her hubby is active person who is now become lazy.... when in reality he needs to learn to use a walker, guys really like those rolling walkers. When my parents were in their 90's, my Mom still thought my Dad could still do everything on the "honey do" list, but at his age he should not have been climbing ladders or crawling under the sink.
Would your Mom and Step-Dad be interested in Independent Living at a senior facility? It would depend if they could budget for the cost. That way, Mom could have friends from her own generation, and maybe Step-Dad would get out bed knowing there were guys his own age there, too. Just a thought.
My Mom had refused to moved to such a place, but after she passed my Dad was ready to sell the house and move. He loved his new apartment and never looked back :) Then when the time came, he moved to the facility's Memory Care section.
My personal thought is that AL is the best place for both of them so they could keep their marriage intact but also allow for extra care and the chance to socialize and spend time apart.