My mom who is 66 years was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but she does not want to accept it, blames everything on me. I do not stay with her, she stays with my stepfather, she sleeps all day and at night talks to her self all night. Visiting her is traumatic, but I have to visit her to show her that I love her. When you kiss her, she is emotionless, when I suggest to take her to a home, it is like an insult to her. I also feel like I am unfair towards my kids by taking them to her because she is very cold. I try to spend my Christmas with her thinking maybe this year will be different but I ended up being hurt.
What can I do...
Let your children have an enjoyable Christmas without grandma this year. There is no law that says you have to see her on Christmas, nor that your children have to go see her each time you visit.
You don't have to spend your entire Christmas with her especially since it's so unpleasant. Make an appearance, visit with her for an hour or two, then spend the rest of your time with your family. I don't know how old your kids are but you don't have to take them with you if they're younger. They shouldn't be around an a person with schizophrenia who is unmedicated.
Maybe Mom needs a Psychiatric facility where they can monitor her and her meds.
I would not subject my kids to her. If Christmas turns out bad every year don't do it. Does she care? If so, then do Christmas Eve with her and Christmas with your family. The choice to not take her meds is ur Moms. Since this mental problem usually starts early in adulthood, you must have grown up with it. Do you do this for her or you?