She will ask me a question and when I answer she says I'm wrong. My dad died last year. He was very calm, and kept peace with mom. Now that he is gone, it seems everything I say is wrong. Mom has always been very controlling but is hard on me. She has caregivers come in for three hours in am and pm. I just take her to drs appts, pay bills, sent up meds, I am her poa. I love her but this is making life very difficult. Just need some advice.
Being negative is no way to get people to visit you. My mother is the champ at negativity, but only to me and my sister. Fortunately, we don't live near her.
My MIL is the exact opposite. It truly does help to get up and put a smile on your face.
Yep, I would be negative, too.
The real question is Why does she want to push any buttons in the first place?
What if you don't give her answers?
When did I have surgery?
I'm not sure, Mom. When do you think you had surgery?
I think it must have been June.
You could be right. I thought there was snow on the ground, but your memory may be better than mine.
How often do I go to the dentist?
I don't know, Mom. How often do you think you go?
If I knew I wouldn't be asking!
Perhaps we could call the dentist's office.
How can you avoid having declare your answers wrong? Don't give her answers. That seems simple enough.
How you avoid her constant negativity is another matter, though, isn't it? Leaving the room as blannie suggests is one option.
As you know, depression is a treatable disease. Discuss this with her doctor. It cannot be treated by you, and even talking to her about it is apt to get the "you are wrong" treatment.
We like to remember them as strong and sensible, and suddenly, they're not
It so hard when our parents have difficulty with their thinking
You can also try limiting your time around her and the minute she starts that negativity, just say, "OK mom, I'm going to leave now, since you're obviously unhappy with me." Or when she asks a question, respond with, "I don't know, what do you think?" Would any of those work? Does she do it with others, or just with you?