My mom is 85, still lives in her mobile home, is frail and falling more often lately, and is really resisting all help.I live 15 miles and work 35 miles from her. My nephew has lived with her for a few years, but is reaching the end of HIS rope because she can be really snippy. I have asked her repeatedly to move in with my family for every reason, including my own peace of mind, but she just doesn't want to move. I think she is struggling with the loss of control (she has always been hugely controlling), and I am trying to work around this. She would NEVER consider going to assisted living or, heaven forbid, a nursing home. We are looking into home nursing care a few hours a day. Does anyone have any other suggestions?
My only advice is start with carers coming in and see how she copes with them. Its easy for people to say stop worrying but my health has suffered alot from worry so I am getting to a stage that "if something happens it happens?" we cant run thier lives for them and the fact that your mum does not have any mental issues its hard to take control. This is the hardest part taking control of someones life when they refuse to let go of thier independence my mum was robbed a few wks ago they took everything cleaned her bank out BUT she still will not let me control her money?? so stressful! I am starting to fall back and let it go a bit? I have to as the stress is too much, old people become so stubborn when they are being controlled and my mum just gets aggressive?
let us know how you get on and TRY not to worry so much you make yourself ill we are doing our best and thats all we can do!!
It's certainly hard for your mom at this stage in her life (and equally if not more difficult for you as a bystander). I hope for you both that she softens about the idea of help with the additional resources you're bringing in and she'll be willing to get the help she needs.
I just found out our request for a visiting nurse, some home care, and physical therapy have been approved by her doctor. I hope she is encouraged enough to work with the caregivers, which may go a ways in keeping her in her home a bit longer.