I feel I am forced to live with my mom because she said, her doctor said, I have to live with her because she can't live alone and can't take care of herself like walk much. And that I nor my siblings can do nothing about it? I live in California any advice on this??
It looks like you are the responsible one who cares about her. Documenting the conditions of the home with photographs and documenting financial gaffes may serve you well; it does not seem like she is rational enough to grant you POA, or might change it to someone who will rob her blind again, and you may need a guardianship. See if there is a social worker or someone at yrou Area Agency on Aging who can quickly get you up to speed on your local systems of services and options. Sorry this is happening, and sorry it is all landing on your shoulders. it is unfair, but often one sibling takes the lead and too often others do not even follow, but maybe you will have some support once you find out more of what's possible and can help others realize what is going on and that it is only going to get worse.
But, she will not have to go as long as you are caring for her. We couldn't make my mother go either, but after a trip to the ER, she never went home. Just let the hospital know that you are not taking her home.
Good luck. We got lucky with our mother, but our sister died prematurely trying to take care of her.
You are not forced to live with mom...you have voluntarily elected to do so and to stay for any number of reasons. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you are doing so because "it's easy, you feel guilty and obligated because she's mom, you feel only you can do this, you are trying to win her approval and love, etc".
Only you can change this predicament. Start by meeting with her dr or documenting your observations of her behavior, abilities to manage her affairs and her safety and health of her environment. Send the letter in advance to her dr then call and make an appointment for mom. Have a full medical and mental work up and get doctors professional opinion. Be honest about the living arrangement with explain that you want mom to be safe and cared for but that you and your siblings don't want the full time responsibility. Ask dr what options or resources he recommends. It may be full time care, it may be part time care in evenings or mornings, it may be housekeeper and you and sibs bring in groceries and precooked meals for the week, meals on wheels, or other.
Call you local aging center agency or senior center and meet with director to help you sort out some options.
If you don't like the situation you are in, change it. Not good for you or mom to continue in an arrangement where one or the other isn't happy and possibly resentful. Remind mom you love her and want her to be safe and happy and will help do whatever is needed to set up help for her but you can't do it anymore.
Let us know how it goes. Many of us have been here. It's hard to walk away when you want to "make things right" but although parents have rights too, they don't have the right to guilt us into giving up our lives to care for them...unless we want to.
Right mom, we can't make you move. But to help you be safe, we have to call the county.
"Taking care of her" can mean hiring caregivers and it can also mean placing mom in a safe haven like ALF. You can get good advice from your county office of the aging.