My mother who is 90, and has been in a Memory Care unit for 4 years now has been recently diagnosed with a malignant form of skin cancer. We are waiting on the labs to confirm the doctors suspicions. It was not there on Jan 12 and now on Feb 24 it is 2 cm x 2 cm and growing fast with necrotic tissue in the middle. All very bad signs.
Doctor wants to operate on March 9. He says it's outpatient surgery and may require rehab for wound care post op. The doc wants to do a skin graft, she won't be able to walk, anesthesia will affect her quality of life and care, etc. Mom's LBD is already stage 6 almost to stage 7. She talks in loops, can't remember what she had for breakfast (at lunch) and is in pain.
I had her in the doctors office to look at her Venous Stasis and have a doctors opinion as the Memory Care medical system is slow and were not taking note of the lesions rapid growth.
I am wondering if we don't do surgery? But start the walk with hospice? It is a gut wrenching decision.
I don't know much about palliative care. Could someone point me in the direction of good information?
For a cancer of the skin which would need grafting I am not certain I would do this. Much depends on the options you should discuss with the MD. Is there a possibility of open and close that is less aesthetically pleasing but would get rid of the lesion. Is the lesion open. Is it rapidly spreading. What kind of cancer is this. Is Mom aware and would she prefer hospice care dependent on prognosis or would she want palliative or other care.
Yes, anesthesia is a REAL concern.
Speak openly with the MDs. And with Mom if she is able. And then make best decision you can. I sure wish you luck.
Here is a link for this forum that explains palliative care.
Wishing you and mom the best course of action.
MC is not skilled nursing. CNAs are not medically trained. Yes, they can report to the RN that a growth has popped up but as you said, this was very fast.
Obviously this is fast, whatever it is but, if post operation care isn't possible because mom can't comply, what happens?
What happens if she can't keep her hands off it?
I would wait for the labs. I have seen to many people that had skin cancer and it led to one surgery after another until death. Never adding anything to the quality of life for the patient, just one sore that wouldn't heal because ALL the cancer couldn't be removed.
That's what I would want to know, because you already know that the anesthesia is going to adversely effect her. So what are the REAL chances of getting everything and this being a one time surgery.
I would never let anyone cut on my loved ones without proper testing.
I am sorry you are having to face this type of decision. Life gets to a point when there are no choices, only options, especially with dementia.
You will do what is best for your mom and that is all you can expect from yourself.
Dad had the surgery and was buried 8 weeks later with stitches still in his forehead. Yes, the skin cancer may have eventually taken his life, but the 25 year battle with leukemia was the cause.
I had to go to his house 3xs a day to clean and dress that wound, along with the ones he had where he had fallen and scraped the papery skin off his forearm and shoulder.
I admired his spunk and will to live, but couldn't wrap my brain around his terrifying fear of dying. He went tanning the week before he died. A 72 yo man going to a tanning booth. That's hopeful!
I use to work as a physical therapy aide in a hospital. Needed to get a 90 year old women up out of her chair. I recall vividly how the women kept saying she wanted to just die. She had a pacemaker placed the year before…I wondered how that impacted the rest of her life…