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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
If she is asking if she smells, I would go with that. "Mom, I love you and I don't want you to be embarrassed because you smell like urine. It is really strong and covering it up doesn't work anymore. We need a real, full blown shower. What can we do? No slip mat in the shower and right outside, shower chair, covered with a no slip and a hand towel for comfort, hand held shower hose, warming the bathroom, me washing your back, hair, feet, if we implemented all or any of these can we get this taken care of?"
Does she wear any incontinent panties? If not, I would be getting her into those so she is not piddling all over everything and it creates a need for help, so you can do what's needed to keep her clean. A nice warm washcloth or 2 or 3 to help keep her clean and dry so she doesn't get sores from the waste destroying her skin.
You are the one that can help her understand how terrible she smells and how to fix it.
I feel for you, I was the one that had to tell my dad and it was awful, but not nearly as awful as the stink. Sometimes tough love is required.
CBD oil or ativan low dose for anxiety, wait till that kicks in, and negotiate - a limb at a time, if nec. If she’s not comfortable with regular bathing, a bed bath will do. If she wont let the aid do it, you will do. If she doesnt want to be naked, uncovering bits at a time for cleaning will do.
I think fear plays a major role in these issues - fear of falling again and fear over the lack of control she has over the situation. Get her relaxed and feeling safe, then explain to her that you need to get her clean to still be allowed to care for her, to protect her health.
We’ve had the same problem with my dad x 3 months now. Dementia. On Amazon, there is this product called “scrubzz” - it’s a packet of 25 disposable thick wash pads with no-rinse cleanser on them ($7.99) Just use warm water & lather up. Pat down. Done.
Agree with trying to find out why which could help you figure out how to resolve the issue. Is it the strangers trying to help her that makes her balk? Will she allow sponge baths?
will not allow anyone to help her. she can do it by herself. Problem she blinded only allowing herself to use bath powder everytime she thinks she ha peeded. she pees thru everything . i had glade everywhere. she says do i smell andsometimes i say yes. but now i just say it might be nice for a different smell. im so sick about it because she is my mom but it is just so hard.
Hi, My mother doesn't like to bathe either. I bought her a privacy bathing garment from a company called "Dignity Resource Council" and the garment is called a "Honor Guard". Google it online and watch the video. Note: This company also offers a privacy bathing garment for men as well.
My mom still prefers to sponge bathe herself but she will agree to shower with this bathing garment on because everything is appropriately covered at all times. I ordered up one size. For sizing comparison, my mom is 5'8", 150 lbs. and wears the women's size Large. If your mother's concern is privacy, this garment might be a big help. Take care. :)
I appreciate that you don’t want to bare your soul here, but maybe a few more details? Does Mom have dementia? People with dementia can often have irrational and sometimes baseless fears. Also, has she ever fallen in the bathroom, or even slipped and gotten scared? When they try to bathe her, do they treat her kindly—reassure her and make it a pleasant experience? Or is it “hurry up! We’ve only got an hour!” People have suggested making the bathroom into a “spa”— towels right out of the dryer, candles, nice lotions and soaps, etc.
Can you try to ask Mom why she doesn’t want to bathe? Promise her lunch out if she bathes, or a trip to the park in the nice weather. Bribery works wonders sometimes!
She fell and broke her femur in 2013. scared, yes and that i understand. but nothing helps. she has frontal lobe dementia. profanity but not to anyone else except me. urinates all time. depends. home health cannot make her bathe. have a hand held attachment that hooks onto sink. have a hand rail and a chair. makes me very sad. going to caregviger meetings help.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Does she wear any incontinent panties? If not, I would be getting her into those so she is not piddling all over everything and it creates a need for help, so you can do what's needed to keep her clean. A nice warm washcloth or 2 or 3 to help keep her clean and dry so she doesn't get sores from the waste destroying her skin.
You are the one that can help her understand how terrible she smells and how to fix it.
I feel for you, I was the one that had to tell my dad and it was awful, but not nearly as awful as the stink. Sometimes tough love is required.
I think fear plays a major role in these issues - fear of falling again and fear over the lack of control she has over the situation. Get her relaxed and feeling safe, then explain to her that you need to get her clean to still be allowed to care for her, to protect her health.
We’ve had the same problem with my dad x 3 months now. Dementia. On Amazon, there is this product called “scrubzz” - it’s a packet of 25 disposable thick wash pads with no-rinse cleanser on them ($7.99) Just use warm water & lather up. Pat down. Done.
My mother doesn't like to bathe either. I bought her a privacy bathing garment from a company called "Dignity Resource Council" and the garment is called a "Honor Guard". Google it online and watch the video. Note: This company also offers a privacy bathing garment for men as well.
My mom still prefers to sponge bathe herself but she will agree to shower with this bathing garment on because everything is appropriately covered at all times. I ordered up one size. For sizing comparison, my mom is 5'8", 150 lbs. and wears the women's size Large. If your mother's concern is privacy, this garment might be a big help. Take care. :)
Can you try to ask Mom why she doesn’t want to bathe? Promise her lunch out if she bathes, or a trip to the park in the nice weather. Bribery works wonders sometimes!