How can I drop my mother off at a day care center on her 1st day? She doesn't want to go. She is very apprehensive about it if I mention it to her. She did have an unpleasant experience at a senior center before. She is scared of being not included. I'm afraid she won't get out of the car or fight with the attendants.
However, just to prepare you, I happened to bring my Mom back from her memory clinic and the director told me that some people love the place they visit (AL, NH, clinics, etc...), talking your ear off on the drive home about how they LOVED it....only to totally forget they were ever there.
I sometimes wonder if it's worth reminding my Mom about what she liked and didn't like, and sometimes she is really skeptical. So, it's all worth trying, just prepare yourself, I guess.
I have also told her on many occasions, when we get there for the drop off, and she tells me she does not want to go in there, that her doctor says she has to go to keep her brain stimulated. I have also reminded her that she has always enjoyed doing different things, and meeting new people. That too, seems to reassure her.
I would make sure the daycare people know what your mom's fears are and ask that they pay special attention to not letting her end up alone - they probably have trainees or interns who could be assigned to sit with your mom and talk to her and encourage her to talk to other people. Once she's got a few people she feels comfortable with, the intern can back off and let the socializing happen naturally.
I have even explained to her sometimes that I need to get some errands done that will take 2-3 times as long if she goes with me, which she always does. On occasion I will tell her I need a bit of a break and she has wonderful friends there. Mom really does enjoy the program and is usually happy when I pick her up. But, naturally, there are those days when she is upset and those are when she has been looking for her little girls, now all in their 50's. There was even one time when I picked her up she did not want to come with me because she was sure that my sisters had also "checked in" there. UFFDA!
While I'm talking about this, I'll add that my husband or I personally take her to places at least the first time, sometimes two or three times, depending how apprehensive she is and how slowly/quickly she settles-in. Once we've done this, I've found that she's more receptive to considering having the senior ride service scheduled. So, we plan around knowing this.
I suppose it might be too late to do this, but is there a way to go with your Mom for a short visit to get her a little more familiar with it? If one of the attendants could befriend her on such a visit and be there for her first day, I wonder if knowing someone would help. With my mom, I've found that if she recognizes someone, her apprehension is more likely to quickly subside, but I do sometimes have to remind her that she'll be seeing someone she knows, even if it's her doctor -- she likes seeing him, too, even if she suspects he's going to stick her with a needle.