My mom has been going downhill for months, since December at least. She's mentally "there" (I think) but had been refusing to get up and walk, wasn't eating well, and not sleeping well. Her doctor detected a UTI and she was under his care but fell again, and last Sunday I called an ambulance.
She had a UTI still (despite antibiotics) and was dehydrated and they said (at first) she had sepsis. After 24 hours of IV antibiotics and fluids they said she didn't have sepsis, and that the UTI was better. She was sent to a stepdown skilled nursing facility Monday last.
I've been visiting and she's improved a great deal as they are forcing food, water, and lots of rehab on her. She hated it the first few days but ended up liking it. It's a nice one that gives manicures, has an in-house 'restaurant', and lots of perks. She was lucky to get in.
So she's coming home Thursday and she's letting me know she doesn't want to keep up with all the activity she's doing there now. She's 'tired'. I feel guilty she got so bad in the first place.
I agree she needs a new structure, but in planning to come home she has a list of things she wants that is troublesome to me. Thing is, I have my own health issues (a torn rotator cuff and a brain injury that gives me headaches). She wants meals served like they do, she wants me to get new furniture as mine is "uncomfortable" (aka she is Goldilocks when it comes to chairs...long history of this). She wants a mobile wheelchair so she can drive around rather than use her arms or her legs (that was a no from me). She wants us to change our schedule and even what we eat.
I wouldn't mind doing all this if it would help; I'm not sure it will. I'm afraid she will fall back into her habits from before (and she is extremely stubborn to the point of rudeness if challenged). I'm willing to give it a shot but how much change can I realistically allow? I'm married with a 13 yo son who also need my attention and time.
It's a confusing time: she resists change but also wants it. I see some cognitive decline just from the last week. I was also told of CT results that she doesn't know about that shows dementia being in the picture.
I just want peace. I love her and want the best but I also don't want to drag myself into a wreck (again) over her moods.
Any recommendations?
