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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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When your mom was young, poop was rinsed off from cloth diapers before they were put into a diaper pail or washer. My thought is there might be some regression surfacing. Whatever the reason, I also would disengage the toilet's chain. Secondly, I would tell Mom that you've been having some difficulty with the toilet lately. First tell her you're not sure what's been making the toilet go kafluee lately, but it's ok. You have a plan: Tell her not to worry 'cuz you'll take care of everything after she's finished. But tell her you need her 'cuz you can't do it alone. Quickly ask her for her help/her cooperation in trying to avoid a recurrence of the toilet troubles. Emphasize and reemphasize the importance of her helping you manage the problem. If you think she'd be ok without supervision, tell her you'll be right outside the door & to call when she's finished. (Keep the door ajar so you can listen to and maybe see a little of what's going on.) If you don't think you can trust her alone, very matter-of-factly step into the BR with her so you "can be right there just in case that stupid toilet acts up again." That way you two can "work as a team and nip the problem in the bud!" I might also lay out or hand her a fresh pair of panties before she starts and provide some kind of diaper pail. (Be prepared to show absolutely no adverse reaction/emotion to any kind of soiling and/or wetting issues.) Encourage her to put her messy pants into the pail so they can be cleaned later in the washer. Tell her that of course you realize that she knows how much more economical this is, how she'll be saving you so much time, expense, and possibly even avoid more troubles with that stupid old toilet all together! The key in getting her to cooperate might be (while incorporating lots of kindness, patience, repetition, and positive reinforcement) to give her control---or at least make her perceive that she's in control. One more thing, (especially with the risk of infections in mind) when/if your mom is incontinent of urine and/or stool, at this point she'll definitely need help with proper cleaning with each toileting/change of panties. I would highly recommend using pull-ups (like Walmart's Assurance Adult Women's maximum protection underwear) under her panties. These relatively inexpensive (diapers) disposable underpants can easily and discretely be torn down the side seams so that soiling doesn't get all over someone's legs or other clothes or linens as when soiled/wet panties are removed. And be proactive about protecting chairs and beds etc. with plastic lined pads, quartered sheets, etc. It's so much easier, discrete, and pleasant to remove a disposable pad/sheet/towel than to have to deal with soiled mattresses and furniture.
Check the toilet. If she is stuffing them, she will likely, sooner or later, stuff them down the commode. It's not fun digging them out either or cleaning up the overflow. Each day, I wonder what our adventure will be. Most of the time, I don't even want to think about it! Best of luck!
Maybe she is becoming incontinent and doesn't want you to know or just doesn't know what to do with messy pants. Mom has dementia which has been getting worse over the past 5 years. Six months ago she kept telling us she needed underpants, we kept buying them and they kept disappearing. Then we realized she was losing control of her bladder and sometimes her bowels. Rather than rinse out the pants and put them in the hamper, she throws them out. We solved the problem by getting her Depends or similar, disposable pants. Once she ran out of underwear, she had no choice but to wear them. Now we have to deal with her getting confused and sometimes putting them in the hamper or stuffing them under the bathroom sink.
Great ideas ladies, but I wonder why she is flushing her pants (or trying to). Perhaps if she is not leaking, try having her go without underpants. It feels great not to be constricted. If you have any other problems disconnect the chain like Pam stated, otherwise you will be calling a plumber and trust me they are not inexpensive (I'm having issues with an installed water heater). Good luck!
Sounds like it's getting time to think about getting someone to help your mom out . It is not a very fun job when a person can't do their own toileting or can't do it well. Only a select few will have the mindset to do this kind of thing. Either you change yours or think about hiring someone that can do it. It very rarely gets better.
There are what we called "hats", that we use in the hospitals or in elder care homes which are placed inside the toilet bowl under the seat . It has been an ongoing issue for years & it is also a good way to measure input & output, as used in the hospitals. It's an easy way to deal with it on top of Pam's idea. It's fail safe.
Great idea, Pam. I was trying to think of something that would let poop pass, but keep cloth. I could think of nothing. Plus, toilets need a certain amount of gravitational push to get things down. A strain might interfere. The disabling sounds much better. I wouldn't want to be the one fishing out the panties. It's better than a backed-up sewer, though.
Disconnect the toilet handle chain inside the tank so she cannot flush it. That way only you can flush it after you have checked the bowl. Make sure you are alone in the bathroom and shut the door so she cannot see you lift the tank lid and activate the flush.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.