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Hi everyone,
Hope you are all safe & well. I’ve been sick with the virus and pneumonia but am feeling better. I’ve been taking care of my 78 year old mom for several years. She has dementia that has really declined. I’m having trouble getting her to eat! I take food over but she rarely eats it. She has a real sweet tooth and will eat candy, desserts. So I took little Debbie snacks over this week that she used to love. She now says she doesn’t like them at all. Is it normal for their tastes to change? Any ideas on how to get her to eat? She sleeps 95% of the time.

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Her disinterest in eating, change in taste and extensive sleep time are end of life indications. But I'm confused. She's not in a facility and you take food to her. Does she live alone? If so, does she have homecare? Does she take meds? How is that managed if she sleeps so much? Regardless, her declining condition should be evaluated for hospice or palliative care. Hospice is a free service paid for by Medicare. If she sleeps that much and isn't difficult to care for, she probably doesn't need a memory care facility but she does need monitoring (hospice).

Do you have any dementia support groups in your area? The Alz Assn or your
Dept of Aging could help you with that. The groups can be very helpful.

Glad you're feeling better and so proud of your caregiving responsibility.
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Momsonlychild,
Sleeping a lot and not eating are 2 things that will happen towards end of life.
When she begins to refuse food then later drinking anything you will know she is closer to dying. There are changes to breathing as well. Changes to skin color.
There is a good pamphlet you can read on line called Crossing the Creek
If you do not have Hospice involved you might want to contact one in your area. They are a great help.
And I do apologize if I offended you with my side note at the end of my last response I did not intend to do so.
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How’s her weight? Is it declining? Not to upset you, but when my mom was nearing end of life the two main things we noted were not accepting food and intense sleeping. Maybe you need a medical evaluation to see where things stand. If her weight is stable, then she’s getting calories somewhere. Glad you’re feeling better and hope you can figure this out
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Momsonlychild Apr 2020
Thank you. She may be in the end stages. She’s in bed 98% of the time for a couple months now. She looks even smaller but according to her scales 2 days ago she hasn’t lost weight. So it’s common with the sleeping and barely eating at the end?
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Does she eat the food at the facility where she is living?
Has she lost a significant amount of weight?
Is she doing well in Independent Living? or should she make a move to Assisted? or possibly Memory Care?
If she has not lost weight and is eating some of the meals where she is you probably do not have to worry so much. (as a person declines and they are sleeping more and more the need for calories goes down as well)
But weight loss is one of the criteria that was used when re-certifying my Husband when he was on Hospice.
Tastes do change. You could try something else. And if you are concerned about caloric intake Ice cream bars, individual cups of ice cream might be good to keep on hand for her.

Side note...I hope you did not make your visits while you were sick.
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Momsonlychild Apr 2020
She’s not in a facility. She gets everything from me. There was no need to ask if I stayed away from her while sick. According to her scale she hadn’t lost weight. I just need her to eat.
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