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“Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande is helpful in understanding the end of life decisions on whether to keep treating.

It appears your mom’s care team believe the problem is one with her kidneys or bladder and mom doesn’t want to pursue that line of investigation by visiting a urologist or is it she doesn’t want to leave the facility for anything?

I had a mystery illness in the height of covid. Lots of tests, lengthy hospitalization. Nothing came of it except I got tests that show what I don’t have a problem with. Which was good to know. I know from personal experience. It is sometimes not easy to find the answer.

However, in your moms case, I think I would ask for a Urinalysis and culture in a few weeks to make sure she is clear of a UTI and not wait for it to make her so ill. After all they really didn’t get a definitive answer on the last one since it was contaminated.

Let us know what you find out. I’m hoping March is a better month for you and mom.
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zmchipmunk21 Feb 2022
Thank you! I've read that book! For now, it's just wait and watch...and hope for the best. Mom has told them no more ultrasounds (even tho they aren't invasive imo). Deep inside I believe Mom knows her body has been wearing down so we'll just keep her happy and comfy.
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Your Mom should follow up. There are some non-invasive treatments of things, yes, or invasive only in that they involve catheter-introduced medications that do a "wash" of the bladder. Your Mom perhaps could tolerate that. The urologist, unfortunately, was the best appt she could have; they could identify say an interstitial cystitis from a bladder infection. I honestly, as a nurse, haven't a CLUE as to what this could be, hence the importance of finding OUT what it is, and THEN making a decision as to what you can do that is not invasive, because I agree with your Mom on that, rather that would be MY decision. Best to you both.
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 2022
The diagnosis of interstitial cystitis can only be done by actually seeing the bladder, which means going under and having a urologist have a look. Day surgery and bladder wash are really invasive, IMO.
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She's 90.

Perhaps her body is simply wearing out. They're not made to last forever. What worked once or twice for a mysterious illness wouldn't necessarily work a third.

We work so hard to find the causation of illnesses in our elderly LO's and often the answer is simply 'they're wearing out'.

Yet, I would also continue to pursue these odd symptoms.
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zmchipmunk21 Feb 2022
Thank you! I agree her body is slowing wearing out. I can see it happening over the past year physically and mentally. Just wait and watch, we may never know what is happening.
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Bumping for more answers.
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My mom kept getting UTIs until her gynecologist recommended a vaginal suppository and a probiotic called repHresh. Keeping the vaginal tissues moist and the pH balanced and somehow added up to no more UTIs.

She also strongly urged mom to use more care in hand-washing; I kept a look out and mom was just rinsing her fingers after using the toilet! Had EVERYONE in the family bring her easy to use liquid soap, which helped.

If she has another episode, try to figure out with the DON why they aren't getting a clean sample.
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