My 98 yr old mother had a stroke 3 weeks ago, is mentally/physically incapacitated and has been diagnosed with dementia as well. She has a reverse mortage (she had to draw on it for her 24 hour care, which she's been receiving for the past 8 years). How do I handle this while I am obtaining guardianship? Should I let them know that she had a stroke or just wait until I obtain guardianship?
If she’s still in her home & getting in-home care, then RM isn’t a problem. As long as RM required things are done - pay property taxes & homeowners insurance, do maintenance - she’s in compliance with the terms of the RM. They don’t need to know her status.
BUT
if she’s moved out of her home & now a full time permanent resident in a NH, she’s out of compliance for the RM. RMs allow you to leave the home for a while - like do a long cruise or several weeks visit to kids - but you have to return and it’s still your full-time residence. If not, then the RM will call in the loan as you've defaulted on mortgage agreement. Property taxes payment status is online and that seems to be what often triggers a compliance audit. Some RM have contractors who do routine drive by’s on properties to see if maintained & look occupied.
Find her RM paperwork as it will detail what causes her RM to be out of compliance & the timeframe to let them know. Look to see if penalty for drawing funds once moved out of the house. I’m with GuestShoppe that if you draw on any RM funds and mom has moved into a NH, this could be a problem for you. It could totally derail you being appointed guardian as you didn’t show fiduciary responsibility. Instead judge will likely appoint outside non-family guardian from a list of vetted by the courts guardians.
Guardianship filing has costs. Maybe 5-8k. Do you have the $ to do this? Not mom’s $ but your $? If you become guardian, then you can use her $ (if she has any) to repay those costs but you still have to front $ to do guardianship as you really need an attorney. Personally I wouldn’t count on getting any $ at all from the sale of her home for mom to have as an asset to pay for care as RM has interest and fees atop the loan borrowed that has to be repaid and usually way way over the value of the home.
You mention she has had 24/7 care for 8 years now. There’s no DPOA? In the 8 years of her on 24/7 care, how banking, other financials, property management & medical stuff been handled? Whose been signing off on things fir her & in what capacity?
I would do nothing until you have sought legal advice.
Likely, the time for moving any funds was 5 years ago, before the "lookback" period. Moving anything without legal advice is fraught with issues.
Do not commingle any funds.