As I was helping my Mother get from her wheelchair to the toilet she began to fall and I couldn't get her up because she's heavy. I tried to lift her back on to the wheelchair and/or toilet but I couldn't do it. I felt myself getting so angry and frustrated that she couldn't help me help her. I love her so because she's all I have but when something like this happens I feel anger and I hate it, I hate myself for feeling it and then the guilt.
After it was over I went to her room and apologized and she told me she knows I'm tired and to forget about it. I want her to know she's loved because she certainly never forgets to let me know that she loves me.
Let's face it. Being cast into role of caregiver is not something anyone has been prepared for or trained to do well. So we muddle through it to the best of our ability. We should never feel guilty if we are making an honest attempt to do it right. Best to use the energy wasted on a guilt trip for finding a better solution to whatever problem we encounter. And the ability to share our problems and solutions on sites like this makes our caregiver tasks a lot easier than in the past. When there is a will...there's a way!
Have a peaceful TODAY!
Hap
we all feel that frustration,anger,and hate-its a terrible disease..
let yourself feel,let it out,
dont let it build up inside-
and then u talk with her,reassure her ,
sounds like its a new way of feeling- but u r doing it well-
u are good and loving, and human.
can u get some help-with caring for your mom?
its so much for one person- this is a great place to get info
and understanding.
forgive yourself-u are a blessing!!!
Some changes in her diet may help you out and be better for her.
Can you get some part time caregiver help?
Some chair sitting strengthing exercises each day really helps at any age. Look online or have her doctor give you some exercise papers.
Better to do these two things than for her to get hurt and then you suffer from guilt or hate.
. A person being heavy is not your doing. Any person who cannot support themselves is difficult and heavy.
Sounds like you have a wonderful mom and glad you care so much about her.
Happy Holidays,
Blessings,
Bridget