My mother-in-law will be 84 in August. A couple of years ago, my husband and I started noticing a decline in her mental faculties. Since we do not see her everyday we really notice it. Now, the kicker is this: my husband's brother (age 58) still lives at home because he is schizophrenic (diagnosed) and Mom is his legal guardian. Brother-in-law has a pilonidal abscess that is not healing because neither he or his mother isn't taking proper care of it. I don't think he should be at home anymore because she can't take care of him, but I am afraid to broach the subject with her because she feels everything is fine. I believe she realizes that things are not right with her and I am sure she is afraid of loosing control. My husband and I are not physically able to take care of either of them and father-in-law is physically disabled. We don't know what to do. Advice would be appreciated.
I watch over him from 200 miles away and have found him places to live near me (section 8 senior housing) and he is on their waiting list and eventually I plan to move him down here near me.
This is a really difficult situation for your family to deal with. I can't tell my brother anything sensible, he will acknowledge what I suggest but then doesn't follow through. It stresses me out all the time. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to wait until something catastrophic happens and then just take control over him. I can plan for his future all I want but if he is not on board, I can't force him. So I just try to be the supportive sister, talk or text him very frequently and hope for the best. I am fortunate in that he recognizes the need to budget but still overspends on stupid stuff he doesn't need. He is fine being alone, and all his neighbors sort of watch out for him. They all have my phone number too.
Dealing with mental illness is very hard.
Good luck to you and kudos to you for planning ahead, as you will need to be aware of the resources available.
Good of you to notice this change and try to get some help. Its not easy. No one likes to admit they need help. I'm sure its a scary time for your mother in law and her son. They have relied on each other for so long, I'm sure any change will be traumatic. I hope APS can help get you in contact with the resources needed to support them. Maybe hiring a live in caregiver is an option or more home care at this stage.