SHe takes her to the bank to get cash and took her to a gyno appt without alerting my husband who has DPOA. In May, she sold her mobile home. Proceeds went to her friend who had the lien note. Although the full debt of $70K was not paid, $15K was the proceeds, and every cent went to this friend. My husband and I have DPOA. We decided along with another family friend Mary, that Sue would live on her property in a granny flat, as Sue was (and still is) very resistant to any sort of assisted living. This has made Sue happy and at the time, it was reasonable to all....except for her friend, L. The agreement was that Sue was to live on Mary's property. L is very controlling, and since then the following has happened: Two occcasions of L taking Sue to her bank and having her withdraw $100. At least five occasions where my husband and I made arrangements to pick Sue to spend time at our home, only to find L took Sue for the weekend. Two occasions where Sue was to spend time with a male friend, and again, L curtails those arrangments. When we talk with Sue about the bank withdrawals, she states that Lenda takes her because she needs money. Because of Sue's memory, she has a Visa debit card, and gift cards to the places she likes to shop...but we make it clear very little, if any cash is needed (it's been a year since Sue asked us to take over bill paying since she could not keep track of the money she had, so we already established that she cannot keep track of her finances). My husband takes Sue to all of her doctor appointments...but he found out this week Lenda took Sue to an gyno appointment without even checking with my husband. Sue told us she went, but could not remember what the reason was she saw the doctor. she said she could ony remember she was given a prescription...but of course, she can't remember what the prescription was for, and where the slip is. Now, my husband already has her existing prescriptions delivered via mail. Also, because this gyno was outside of her service plan, there was no HIPPA or medical directive on file, so this gyno office won't divulge any details to him. Sue and L have been friends since grade school, so this is a long friendship, but has since fallen apart due to L's controlling and manipulative behavior, and now taking Sue to a medical appointment. Sue says she's sorry-even though she has nothing to be sorry for. I ache over the fact her "friend" is taking advantage of her medical condition. Any help/advice would be appreciated. We live in California.
I hope others can give you more suggestions.
If you find you can no longer trust L you may have to reassess Sue's living arrangements as she would not understand or agree with you banishing her lifelong friend.