My sis and I are in FL and visited our mother in memory care for the first time since our governor opened nursing homes to loved ones. She said her right foot hurt, and while she's usually very difficult and belligerent about everything, she allowed us to look at her feet. We were shocked to discover that during the six months of lock down, her toe nails had grown up over, around and under her toes. We were horrified. We had an unusually good visit with her, but afterwards I immediately notified the nurse administrator. I wish now I had gotten photos, but I wasn't thinking straight. Before posting this I read other Aging Care posts about toe nail care. We know a podiatrist will be necessary at least for the first cut, because of the seriousness of the problem. But I'm terribly concerned Mom will refuse to allow anyone to care for her feet, including my sis or me. When we try to do things for her, like cut her hair, she'll just say, "I'll wait until I get home." I don't know what to do about this.
Medicare covers regular podiatry visits for trimming of toenails. Most elderly people have nails so thick they need to be cut by a podiatrist.
Tell her there's someone coming to visit her who will take care of the pain in her feet.
When my Mom could no longer live alone in her home I knew I had to discuss it with her. My mother had lived alone for years and was very self sufficient. She makes it sometimes difficult to discuss circumstances. So, what I did, was pray about it. Yes, pray! I ask God to open Mom’s heart to listen to my concerns and let me know when to have the conversation. God worked it out! She totally agreed and realized she could no longer live alone. I was amazed how everything fell into place when I gave it all to God!
You need to follow up on this in person or send someone to make sure it has been taken care of by a doctor. Take pictures if not done yet. Find out who the doctor is and ask for a copy of the medical notes (should say how severe). As a matter of fact, I think you should ask for a copy of all records that pertain to doctor visits to see what has been done for her this year.
She may try to put off certain things (and many of the staff in these facilities are more than happy to oblige because it lightens the workload). For the hair cuts, just be upbeat and happy about it and start the job. As for things that should be done by the facility every single day, your mom needs more observation because you have already seen what can happen when no one is looking. A toenail that has grown as long as you say is neglect at the hands of people PAID to take care of elderly. Disgusting. You need to follow up on the conversation and ask them how the h3ll ANYONE employed there could have missed it during a bath, change of clothes, etc. Let us know what they answer to that - I'm curious.
I asked him if he was part badger 😂.
I got on amazon and found some files that were like sanding blocks and ordered some coconut oil infused Epsom salts.
he sat in his recliner and soaked his claws and I proceeded with sanding.
it was not fixed overnight but he really enjoyed the spa treatment.
he was diabetic so I was too scared to do any clipping. Eventually they were nice and smooth with no pain of trying to clip those thick things.
When I give my husband a hair cut, who has Alzheimers, I say very little. I have him sit on a chair in the bathroom and tell him I want to check on a sore he has on his head. I then proceed to cut and tell him it helps the sore. Even though there is no sore. One of my little fibs to get things done. I also never say anything in advance of what is going to be done as I had to a week ago when he had to have a broken tooth removed. It’s like with a kid. Keep it real calm.
Bonnie
It was time, I had him soak his feet in warm water to soften the nails, powered up on low and proceeded gently. Once I knew he was comfortable I increased the speed and was done in no time. I then wiped his feet off with a warm cloth and applied lotion (made him feel like royalty - that always works)
DL
Good loving daughters are a blessing! I have two. 🤓
Hugs
My mother had an ingrown toenail and had a pretty traumatic treatment for it. after that every time I took her to get her nails trimmed that is all she could talk about. The dr and I both kept telling her it wouldn’t happen again but it really stuck with her.
I would suggest you talk to the podiatrist who treats your mom's facility and discuss what the best action would be.
Thankyou Llama. In regards to my rellies that are living their lives their way (the right to rot) I have made a mental note never to look at their feet.
Dremel, a little hand held one. got one at Lowes the other day. I am practicing.. On things at work. Took a shot at my dog. She lasted a couple of toes then abruptly left me. BUT now I have one of my cats in target.. Her claws catch on the rug every single step... So she would be great to practice on..
I got a 60 grit, but if you can find as I did an actual diamond bit with 120 grit, it chatters less, and is much smoother. This weekend, I think I will be good to try this on my aunt..I will see how my cat does first... :{
Don't take it personally if she refuses for you! Happens all the time 😁. The NO people I call them. (My Mum is a NO person too).
I don't need to... wash/eat/change dirty pants etc...
Would you like lovely nice neat feet? Yes? Well this lovely lady/man is here to make your feet nice. If still NO... Would you like dirty sore feet? No? Well this lovely lady/man is here to stop your feet being dirty & sore.
Book the podiatrist. Good luck!
I bought a toe nail grinder.
It is like a Dremel tool.
It has file you can remove.
I sit him out on a bench. Wear a mask and sit on the ground and go to work. Play her favorite song.
It may tickle.
I tried nail clippers and accidentally cut his skin. Yikes!
This just files them down. You can adjust the speed.
My 96 year old mother lives alone and waits and waits and waits too long to go to the podiatrist and has to go by ambulance to the ER because her toenail was overgrown and was infected. They fixed her back up again and now 6 more months have gone by and she still won’t let me or anyone else take her to the podiatrist.
Unless you strap them to the bed and cut their nails against their will, there is NOTHING you can do. Your mom will suffer the consequences if she keeps saying NO. She’ll end up in the ER like my mom did.
My 96 year old mother has severe mental illness and makes bad choices but yet she is competent. She self neglects bathing and shampooing and won’t let me do it either. She refuses to go to the podiatrist. A podiatrist couldn’t come to her home because she is a hoarder. You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. You can’t help someone who refuses help.