M mother was violent... Threatened to kill my stepfather. Sliced his face and was put into jail. This is when she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. the State put her into a home. This home is rated 1 star and is very bad!!!! She constantly wants to go home... It's hard to get her into a nicer place. We are all distrought. When we visit, she only wants to go home. She used to get very angry, now she cries. what can I do? Help! I wish she can be in a nicer place.,...
hugs
luvmom
Educate yourself now and speak up for your mother whenever you see neglect. You can document and report poor care to
your state. Here are a few bits of information I came across in just a few minutes of googling 'nursing homes' and 'substandard nursing home care'. If you have had no prior experience with nursing & retirement facilities, the situation can be bewildering. But don't be intimidated or faint of heart.
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Dept. Of Health & Human Services report: Trends in Nursing Home Deficiencies & Complaints
http://oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/oei-02-08-00140.pdf
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Consumers Union website:
http://www.consumersunion.org/health/nursing-rpt603.htm
"Families that have time to shop for a nursing home for a relative should first look at the Consumers Union Nursing Home Watch List, available on the Web..
If you can, avoid those facilities that have been on all three lists as well as the list for "yo-yo" compliance. In some areas, particularly rural locations, there may be few choices for families. Better facilities might be full, and the only facility accepting new admissions may be one of the homes on our lists. If you find yourself with that choice, you need to take additional steps.
* Obtain the state survey report that MUST BE POSTED IN EVERY FACILITY. Some facilities don't make the state report readily available, so you may have to be persistent in finding it. See what deficiencies the facility has been cited for. If the nursing home, for example, has failed to provide adequate hydration for residents, YOU will have to make sure your relative gets enough fluids to drink. If the facility has been cited because residents have bed sores, YOU will have to make sure precautions are taken so your relative does not develop them.
* Be extra vigilant and visit the facility often. If you have to use a nursing home where consumers are at high risk for receiving questionable care, YOU will have to keep close tabs on the facility to make sure your family member is well cared for.
* Get involved in the initial care planning that all facilities are required to do for each resident. Once the plan is in place, make sure that it is followed and when your relative has different needs, make sure the facility administrator knows what they are so the care plan can be appropriately modified.
* Join the family council that most facilities have established. Banding together with other families and speaking up when care is not good can bring positive changes that will improve the quality of life your relative experiences."
I monitor my mom's med's, and write up papers on what I want her to go to in activities each day, give them to the floor nurse to give to the caregivers. I go right to the floor nurse if her laundry is still sitting there, if she has not been helped to shower. Still no guarantee, but I keep at it. Sometimes I think they quiver when I walk in the place, but I am so friendly to all that they can't be. Keeps me on top. Writing the owner, etc. usually gets things moving! Otherwise, they really are wonderful with their medical responsiveness, the physical therapist, nurses, even the caregivers are most all really caring. So I help them keep tabs on her.
Mom calls me 6 times a day! Each morning we talk about the activities for the day and that she needs to get the paper that shows them so she can follow best she can. I gave her a very readable watch and that has helped her to follow the schedule. Even though she often calls me to find out what time it is, to double check her watch.
Why does your mom have to be in a Nursing Home? And not an assisted living? I am guessing it is because of the violent behavior? Or why not the Memory Ward of an Assisted Living home?