So my mother has cancer and Dementia but high functioning, my brother who is power of attorney of both medical and financial I feel is doing a horrible job. So my other brother went and bought a house in my mom's name and his daughter went and bought a car in my mom's name and when I tell my brother they shouldn’t be doing this he says it’s what she wants and he doesn’t want to make her mad, so my question is, is there anything I can do about this?
Mom is the the middle of a dysfunctional family that is taking advantage of her. I agree with seeing an elder attorney as soon as possible.
GOOD LUCK!
Did these big ticket purchases originate with your mother or with the recipients? I mean, did your mother tell them she wanted to get them a house/a car/the moon; or did they ask her for help directly, or by dropping ever heavier hints?
I'm guessing you're not on such terms with your non-POA brother or your niece that you can ring them up and ask them what they think they're playing at. Are the sums of money involved a big deal to your mother? (apologies, I know that seems like a silly question but there are, after all, people who can buy the odd island here and there without feeling it)
But if your mother comes to need Medicaid within the next five years to support her care, you (you the family, that is) will be in hot water. She will have gifted thousands and thousands, and the penalty will be as much.
Do you have any concerns about your non-POA brother's and your niece's treatment of your mother?
You’ll need input from a lawyer to determine if your brother’s choices are on the up and up or not. If you have access to the lawyer who drew up the POA, that may be the best place for you to start.
Just because she wants a house and car, the POA has to have the maturity, and maybe the courage, to deny some of her requests as a practical matter, regardless if mom gets mad. You might bring up the legal consequences of your brother's misuse of his POA. Calling the agencies Alva suggests can give you some legal guidance.
These gifts preclude your Mom from receiving any financial care. They need to be reported. Start with an Elder Law Attorney and Adult Protective Services. Call your local center on aging, council on aging, whatever resources you have to give you guidance.
A POA is supposed to act for the agent (your mom) when they are no longer able to act for themselves or at their direction. It depends on the wording in the document itself as to the powers being granted. Hopefully your brother isn’t making decisions at moms request that will come back to haunt him.
Has your mom been legally declared incompetent? She can change her POA if she understands what she is doing. Is her cancer aggressive? Since she is high functioning, she may know exactly what she is doing.
Hopefully your mom has great wealth and won’t need Medicaid in her future for the next five years. Is brother who is POA likely to be her caregiver as well as her decision maker? Hopefully he has consulted with a certified elder attorney and getting advice to help guide mom in her decisions.
I’m sorry for your distress.