My Brother and Mother co-own a house. He is often late with his half of the mortgage payment, which makes my mother very anxious. After my dad passed away in September, she used the bulk of her funds to pay for his funeral. There was several thousand dollars left. My sister moved in with her with the agreement that she would pay 100 dollars a week to help with the mortgage and buy her own food. She has been living with my mother for 9 1/2 months and has contributed a grand total of 300 dollars and my mother is paying for all of the groceries to support her and she often brings her grandson over for week-ends and my mom is expected to feed him as well. My mothers funds have gradually dwindled down to nothing. SHe has credit card debt, mortgage debt, many health issues with costly prescriptions and falls far short of meeting those obligations. She has dementia and is continuing to pass out signed checks and credit cards to my siblings on demand. She doesn't seem to have the awareness of her financial jeopardy; and my siblings seem to have no compunction about asking her to provide for their needs. It is quite a mess.
Other than that, there isn't much you can do unless you want to get an attorney to help straighten this out. Your mother is giving over the money of her own free will, so her dementia would need to be brought to light and then the attorney may be able to stop this exploitation. This could be a lengthy process, however. Also, this approach will likely end your relationship with your siblings. It's a tough choice. One consultation with an attorney, at least, may give you some ideas of how to move forward. Good luck,
Carol
I'd focus on getting control on your mom's essentials. Open an account in both your names and have her monthly income deposited there. I know, easier said than done! But if that's where you focus your energies (instead of your anger at bro and sis for bilking mom), you can win. Explain that it's your contribution to caring for her. You can pay her important bills (not the credit cards!) and write her a monthly check for her discretionary spending (try not to think about whether or not she's handing it all over to your siblings).
This is a tough situation, channel your energy into actions that can make it better (and, to preserve your sanity, have regular, long, anger-venting sessions with a good friend !).