Mom is 88 yrs old, legally blind with progression, from ALF of 13 months after bad fall in home to MC 2 weeks ago. Repeated falls and confusion, sleeping all day if no one is present. Mother has advancing macular degeneration with hallucinations. I am her POA, HCS, etc and have been her primary caregiver for 15 yrs. after my father died. Responsible for finances, all shopping, Downsizing home and selling it, etc. She has dementia, advancing. Adult siblings do not understand nor help with any of the above nor see her decline- 3 of 5 live out of town and only one visits who fully gets it. Balancing full time work and family but so angry my sibs do not visit and then question what I am doing. I'm exhausted mentally and often physically. Trying to focus on best care/decisions for our mother while ignoring “the noise” but it is hard some days. Wish all could see this is the “time to mother her” vs. having “her mother us.” Any advice appreciated.
I would come up with a standard answer to your siblings questioning and challenging you. "Yes, I know it's hard to imagine that mom is in this horrible condition. This is what her doctor's and her previous ALF have suggested and I agree that it is the best thing for mom at this time." Case closed.
So, I would do my best to ignore them and focus on your mom and making sure she's getting the best care she can get in MC. AND focus on YOU. Take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy and do good things for yourself too!