I had a break down about 3 weeks ago and had my brother come pick up Mom. In the mean time I found a place an AL for her close to me. When my brother brought her back, she went right into the home with all her stuff. She's been there for 4 days now and all she says is she doesn't like it and wants to go home. Nobody will take her. My excuse is I started working while she was gone. She is very shy and now she has turned from sweet to rude. She won't go out and met people. She has a lot of hip and back pain and can't walk that well and won't use her walker. She is so stubborn. I stayed the first night with her and woke up many time and with a back ache. Stayed all day but came home the second night. I go 2 times a day and she still complains about the place. I will cut down to one day, then every other day. I'm having just as hard time with her there as when she was with me. My brother's live 2 hrs away. Not much help from them. What else can I do? Wait and see?
I've changed the way of how I deal with the complaining. If it is something serious, say her pager's not working, I will work to solve the situation. If it's about the food, I just tell her I'm sorry about that and move on. If there's nothing that can be done in a practical sense I let it go in one ear and out the other. It's taken me years to learn this, but I suspect you too will learn in time. It's not exactly easy, but it's easier, if that makes sense.
Hang in there. It will get better with time.
Strangely, everywhere we go, people act like it's a natural thing to want to be with a bunch of strangers and becoming good friends and such. That's natural for the extroverts, possibly, but not for the entire populace.
So, here's what I said to my Mom about some of this, because she really felt to self-conscious about trying some of these things:
Mom, pick things you like. Don't worry about meeting people. You'll end up talking about whatever you're meeting about and that will be fun to share thoughts on your interests. But it's not about making friends. If you make a friend out of it, great, but don't listen to all these people who make it sound like you have to go create some kind of posse. Just enjoy yourself, talk about your interests, and don't worry about the rest.
Now, as I said, it's a little easier because she feels safe and supported living with me, and her memory isn't great so I have to give her this little pep talk with some regularity, but it's worked with her. Maybe it would work with your Mom. Is there any program around, knitting, painting, anything she likes or always wanted to try?
By the way, this is the same pep-talk I give the main introvert in my life, which is me. :-)