I hate where my mom lives... And I put her there. She lives in a crappy low income apartment on the bad side of town. I have her on waitlists for other places. I am building a house that will be done in 4 weeks. I want to keep mom independent as long as possible but what are the signs she needs to move in with me?
The signs that mom needs to move in with you is that she stops drinking for a full year and chooses to take responsibility for her actions instead of making them YOUR burden.
DON'T MOVE HER IN WITH YOU! She has more problems than one caregiver can handle.
Alcoholic - Surely you know enough about alcoholics to understand that an alcoholic in your home is a special kind of hell from which you cannot emerge unscathed.
One arm - as her health declines, how do you feel about wiping her bottom? Feeding her (because it's hard to eat with only use of one arm; I've cared for a stroke victim and I know)?
Wheelchair - will it fit through all the doors in your home? Are you good with repairs (things break)? Can you lift it in and out of your car? Can you transfer her into and out of wheelchair to car, shower, bed, regular chair? Can you transfer her on and off the toilet?
You - with all of the above going on, you may not be able to work outside the home. Believe me, you will hate that. It also entails perhaps losing your insurance and retirement plan.
What signs are you currently seeing that concern you? Can you fill us in a bit more on that?
What options for placement have you discussed with your Mom.
Once you move your mother in with you it is very difficult to undo. You will have made her a tenant whether she pays rental or not If you are also POA you cannot evict her into unsafe living conditions. You should, if you do this, plan on seeing an elder law attorney to discuss shared living expenses, to discuss reassessment bi-yearly as to whether this is working out for you BOTH or not, and etc.
I wish you the best of luck.
Caregiving is not an easy practical option for most.
I wouldn't react, let it rest, be patient. A facility that has AL, MC and a NH would provide her care in the future.
Sending support your way!
If your mom moves in with you, you will feel overwhelmed. I know this from my own experience. Mom lived with me and it’s very difficult to be a 24/7 caregiver.
You will no longer have any time for yourself.