My father is 82 and in good health. Dad is not able to talk her into getting a shower, having her hair done, taking her to Podiatrist (her toenails are long and thick). She hasn't gone to a store with him in 3 years. There are 3 of us kids. I've spent up to 6 weeks at their home, out of state, twice and she just will not do anything to help herself. She does not have dementia. Depression. She was on medication, but would not see therapist. Has anyone out there dealt with this?
Another thing can happen, claustrophobia. Most houses have a tub shower or narrow walk-in shower. Then the glass shower doors make the closed in feeling even worse. I plan to remove the glass doors from my shower in the near future. It's becoming a cleaning nightmare making it difficult to clean out the tub.
If one is standing in the shower and leaning back to rinse one's hair, the muscles in our stomach will tighten up thus limiting the blood flow to the brain which makes one feel faint.
Let's throw in the fear of falling in a shower. A very real fear. Even with a tub mat, hair conditioners can make that mat slippery. I have one of those mats where it looks like pebbles so there is a better feel of safety on the feet.
In-between showers, baby wipes are a big help :)
For Mom not wanting to have her hair done, I remember my 90+ mother didn't like leaning back to have her hair washed. It made her feel light-headed, so to solve that problem Mom would wash her hair at home first. Thus, no washing at the salon. It worked out great. I do the same thing for myself.
Store shopping? I have always hated shopping, so for the past 4 years I have been using on-line grocery shopping, with either curb-side pickup or truck delivery to the house. It works great as I found whenever I had to look up to the top shelf, I would get what is called "top shelf vertigo" :P
Oh, how I wished I had the energy to do what I did decades ago. I bet your Mom is feeling the same way. It can put a damper on how one feels.