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My father has balance issues and has fallen outside twice and landed on his face. Miraculously he seemed fine with only some swelling & bruising. Both times he refused to go to the doctor.
I have purchased a walker for him but expect him to be reluctant to use it.
Any suggestions on how to present it?

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StrugglingSue, my Dad was also falling outside trying to use a cane. After one ER visit I decided it was time for him to try using a rollator walker, one that has hand brakes and a seat. Oh my gosh, he was so happy you'd think I had bought him a Mustang.

Dad learned quickly how to use this type of walker. He liked that it had a basket in front so when he went out to get the mail, driveway has a slope to it, he could just toss the mail into the basket and head back up the driveway.

It was my Mom who didn't want my Dad to be outside in public with his new walker, someone might think he was old. HELLO, he was in his 90's. Dad ignored Mom which was brave on his part.
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Beatty Aug 2019
Yeah my Mum won't wear her hearing aides coz they "might make her look old".

I doubt that's the first thing people notice when looking at a little old lady with grey/white hair, glasses, no makeup, wearing grey comfort wear style clothes with slippers in the daytime, sitting in her wheelchair. But you never know.. ;)
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Firstly, walkers themselves can be very dangerous if one uses them incorrectly, and if there is any dementia present then it would be difficult to get the training to stick. But just giving a walker can be dangerous. People tend to use the walker by putting it way out in front, the catching up with their bodies, and they lean forward without the support under them, causing further falls. People tend to forget them and trip over them. So they are marvels when needed, but if not needed can be more problematic than not. So there is that to consider. What were the reasons for the falls? You say balance; but are there any other contributing factors? When there are balance issues as so often happens, there are wonderful and simple balance exercises that truly work very very well. Is it possibly a medication problem, such as the age old "take a blood pressure pill, blood pressures goes low, person rises from sitting position or up at night to pee and down they go" sort of thing?
This is worth discussion, and in times such as this one hour with a physical therapist is worth twenty with an MD in my humble opinion. I think PT is so overlooking in how much it can help the elderly. Ask your MD for a PT consult.
If, after assessment, a therapist recommends a walker I would vote against the sit on them walkers, because without expertise in them they tend to make people walk too far behind them, and people go down from getting on and off the seat. I would then explain to Dad that a fall that breaks a fragile bone could mean he had to move into care, or a higher level of care, or even be bedridden with all the complications that entails.
If none of that works, and it might not, it is a matter of time. Balance is the issue with my bro, as well, and he totally refuses to do the exercises that improved it so much in rehab. You can only do so much and the rest is out of your hands. Wishing you good luck, and Dad, too.
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I did it with a visit to my dad’s primary care doctor who wrote a Rx for it, then we went to a medical supply store, and they had him try different ones and fit him with the best one for him. The store staff then did a “rollator class” for him to teach him all about it and its use. It was much better coming from the doctor and medical supply people than from me. Now he’s literally attached to it for every step
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There are many reasons a person might fall.

i agree with Alva. Be very careful about introducing walkers without proper education.
Also make sure his shoes fit properly and that his feet and nails are in good shape.

Ask his doctor to order PT to help him with his balance and to evaluate his need for a cane or walker.
Check his BP and pulse often. While sitting and when he stands.
Is he on any medication? That should also be looked at.

My aunt uses a cane. She does very well with it. I asked therapist about a walker and was told it wasn’t recommended for her. That she did better with the cane.
Your dad may need neither.
My dad never fell. My mom used a rollator walker which she was using when she had her defining fall. She never used it again and always used the lightweight walker with the two tennis balls after that.

But you are on the right track in wanting to save him from a fall that leaves him with a broken bone. Your life and his changes after a bad fall.

While you are at it, make sure he gets a bone density test.

The worst thing is for him to be afraid to walk and want to stay in his chair all day.
Sometimes elders haven’t thought it out but just feel safer staying in one spot. Not a good plan for longevity if that is something he’s concerned with.

He could also be showing signs of a mental condition that is affecting his balance.

One of the best books I’ve read to help me frame my approach to elder care is “Being Mortal, Medicine and what matters in the end” by Atul Gawande.
It elevates the conversations we have with our loved ones about living out their lives.

On the other hand, when you start having to sacrifice your own health to enable your parents bad decisions, it’s time to look for other caregivers. It’s a fine balance. Let us know how it works out.
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I agree with Alva dear, a meeting with a therapist would be helpful, maybe even to introduce him to the walker. Parents don’t like to listen to kids. What do you know!? But often will obey “Experts”.

I think the type of walker you use depends a lot on the elders mental abilities. To use the Rollator type, four wheels, seat, brakes, you have to be quite with it. My mom was ok with one for a short while after hip replacement but as her dementia started she wouldn’t remember to set the brakes and it would roll away from her when she tried to get up from her chair and she would fall. The lift and drag type is better for lots of elders.

The biggest battle is getting elders with any dementia at all to remember to use the walker. I never won this battle with my mom.
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My dad only used his as a seat to watch tv. He liked how high the seat was and he could get up easily, unless he forgot to set the brakes. He ended up with a gnarly black eye one time and an egg on his forehead another.

He was fitted in rehab and trained how to safely use it. I recommend getting him fitted and trained as alvadeer recommends.

Unfortunatly people fall and I would ask the PT if they can teach him how to fall if he won't use a walker.
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Does Dad like living independently and being at his own home? That's my convincing (usually) argument...I mean...what if next time you're not so lucky, you fall, break something and wind up needing surgery to fix a broken hip? Way better to use the damn walker. And if he won't...remember...you tried. He's entitled to his autonomy, making decisions for himself, even if bad choices. It's what we would all want. :-)
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lisah13 Aug 2019
My thoughts exactly. My mother has balance issues and holds on to EVERYTHING and refused to use a cane or a brand new walker we got her. Until she fell in front of her beauty shop and embarrassed herself! She's been using the cane ever since. I had the same, "what if you broke your hip. You'll go to the hospital, then to nursing home and never be able to live independently again" and that's all it took - it embarrassed and scared her enough to use the cane. Working on the walker next. Wish me luck!
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Get a rollator. Those regular metal walkers are not really that easy to use - try one yourself. The rollator rolls along easily, has brakes, and a seat if he tires and needs a place to sit.
My mom was totally against a walking device or anything that would make people think she was 'handicapped'. We took a road trip and I brought a rollator with us (didn't tell her). We stopped to visit a site that was going to be quite a walk and I got it out. She was mad - said she didn't need it. I said I was taking in just in case she needed to sit down and I pushed it along. About half way, she needed a rest and I let her use it. She walked the rest of the way. On the way back, she took a sit for a breather and then said she would try to walk with it. Not far, but was seeing it really helped to have the support. Next stop we made - no arguments. Took a while but she eventually said it was a good thing. That was about 15 years ago. She is 95 now and still uses a rollator. (When she has been to rehab, they only gave her that metal frame looking walker and it was much too hard for her to move...even w/the tennis balls on the legs).
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cherokeewaha Aug 2019
The metal ones also tend to catch on carpet and if you have door jambs it catches those too. I had to use one after knee surgeries. I had the metal one. It worked great for the rehab exercises but not for walking. Bless my younger brother who brought me one he purchased for our mom who refused to use it. I still use the metal one to get up and down when dusting.
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Is your father a veteran? My husband hated to use the metal walker but the VA clinic here in Texas gives out beautiful rollators to the veterans and he really likes it. He sits in it when we go out to eat too because the seat is higher and is easier for him to get up from than a regular chair. He's even started helping me in the kitchen again because he can sit and do certain tasks.
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My dad has a couple rollators. One in the house, one outside since he takes walks. He fell at the grocery store about 1-1/2 years ago when I was with him (we used to have him steady himself by using the cart) but after that, I told him we would no longer leave the house without his walker. His caregivers have the same instructions when they come over to take him out. He quickly came to realize that if he wanted to be mobile, he would have to use his walker. If I see him without it and he is struggling, I remind him he needs to use it. Getting him to use it was easier than I thought it would be once he realized we would not leave the house without it.
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