My mom is bedridden and in hospice (at home) care. I cannot afford a full-time caregiver, so I participate in caring for her. The issue is that she is bed-ridden - as of recently unable to stand or walk, but insists on being seated on the commode to relieve herself. I have purchased everything I can such as moving belts, etc., but am experiencing constant back pain moving her and I fear that I won't be able to do this for long.
My mother has Alzheimer's and does not seem to understand it when I tell her to just go in her diaper and that I will clean her.
Any advice?
My opinion is that incontinence pads/underwear are for incontinence. Not for caregiver convenience. But if mobility, lack of caregivers or lack of euipement prevents getting to a toilet, then a bedpan would be next best.
Caring for a bed-bound person is usually more than a job for one. What plans have you got to get more help?
My grandmother, who was visually impaired and totally nonverbal but still ambulatory for the last 4+ years over her 10 year illness, ALWAYS needed to be in her bathroom and on a ceramic commode, until she was ultimately hospitalized in the last two weeks of her life.
Assuming that she herself is without funds, if you are willing to seek outside sources of information it’s probably important to be very specific about her physical and financial needs, and to try to be open to any information you receive.
You state that you “won’t be able to do this for long”, and taking good care of yourself is a part of her care that you may be allowing to supersede the good care you take of yourself.
There are some situations in geriatric care that don’t result in good or even “satisfactory” solutions, and in such situations, you need to be looking for “the best you CAN do”, rather than the best for Mom that is harmful or dangerous for yourself.
Hoping that you find some manageable solution(s)……..
going in your pants is just taboo. Very hard to retrain someone with dementia to do that. Have you tried a bed pan as a compromise? At least maybe she’d feel she wasn’t doing it in her pants. Later on when my dad started loosing consciousness then we no longer had this struggle.
I hire a caregiver to help move my husband to the commode for this purpose. One person cannot to do it alone. Please hire help.
Once you get that system in place, you’ll experience less back pain. I do.
Good luck.
You need to be careful what you wish for, as having your mother pee and poop in her diapers can create a whole lot of other issues that can be quite painful for her, so perhaps you need to ask hospice about getting her a Hoyer lift. They can supply that and Medicare will cover the cost 100%.
Now is the time to end your involvement so that you don't end up in a nursing home.
I've been bucking for an Electric Hoyer for over years for my 250-pound very tall "patient". I may as well be pulling teeth that are healthy and intact without anesthesia. This is my biggest stressor right now to say the very least. My son's manual Hoyer now has a non functioning wheel.
Every facility has the policy of 2 or more trained caregivers to transfer with an ELECTRIC Lift. But it seems like no gives a "crap" (please forgive me) that elderly caregivers have no choice but to transfer a disabled love one alone. Or the other option is to send them to a home. (We won't do that as long as I can still get up and walk.)
I'll spare you the grief of issues with DME company we've been having. Let me tell you all of the medical supply companies are short staffed for trained techs who can evaluate and get all of the paperwork done and have supply chain issues. If not, you lucked out.
We have had to go around the DME, to get approval from the disability 'waiver' supervisors to purchase a new Electric Hoyer on our credit card from all places, Walmart.dot.com.
Then we will have to submit the bill for some reimbursement.
The price could be anywhere from $700 for a manual to $1,000 to $3,000.
A Lift has to be a Medical Necessity. Generally for home care you can get approval with a doctor's letter that includes a diagnosis and a letter of Medical Necessity. But, for home use, insurance(s) only want to pay for a manual lift. That means you hand pump the hydraulics to raise the patient who may or may not be comfortable in a sling of their size.
Most loan closets will NOT accept Lifts to lend due to the size and the liability. Yes, they can be rented, if available.
Agencies generally refuse to allow staff to use a Hoyer unless it is electric. So even if we can every now and then post-hospitalization staff is limited in what they are allowed or willing to do.
My son medically does need an electric one to replace the manual. Some of the reasons is due to my age, 72. What company wants to pay an extra one or 2 thousand dollars if they don't have one? They don't. There may be a cap on the amount of money they spend.
I would have mom try out a ride in a lift before you spend any money. With that said, I know that getting her out of bed onto a commode is backbreaking. I've been a caregiver for much of my life. I did not anticipate my once athletic child losing body function.
Try contacting your local Agency on Aging to see what resource options are available to you.
I'm so sorry my note is so long. I'm a very experienced, but exhausted and frustrated caregiver who loves her "patient" dearly. But the tasks are mindboggling every day even for me.
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