My 96 year old mother has dementia and throat cancer. Does anyone have experience with this? I would appreciate any guidance.

The hospice staff will be your personal eyes and ears. Far better then asking us who cannot see her. A good service can answer all of your questions. As time nears closer to the end, staff may visit every day and make those comfort care adjustments

Hello and thank you all for your kind responses.

Her PCP and ENT say general anesthesia, chemo and radiation at her age would do more harm than good. My mother has an Advance Directive. I know her well and feel fortunate that she made her wishes known.

The hospital trauma, in and of itself, could do her in. She had hospital-induced delirium several years ago resulting in a fall and paramedics to pick her up.

I am respecting her wishes not to suffer so no treatment but lots of love and comfort care. Hospice is on-board and, thankfully, she can keep her PCP.

Losing Mom will be difficult to say the least but so long as she doesn’t have a traumatic end to her life (as others in my family have had) I will grieve and rest knowing she’s in a better place. She still smiles and we have some time to be together. I am grateful for that!

Thank you again for your kindness. Warm regards to everyone.

For now you can have her facility just puree all her food and thicken her drinks with Thick-It if swallowing is or becomes an issue.
Once you have hospice on board they will be better able to help you as things "get worse." And they also will tell you when and if morphine should be given so your mother doesn't have to suffer.
I wish you and your mother the very best as you travel this final journey with her.

Milkshakes ice cream puddings yoghurt cottage cheese and any other foods mom likes and can tolerate, play it by ear.

Hospice will know when it's time to medicate her for pain; palliative care is good for the interim.

Speak to moms doctor about the prognosis and how quickly the cancer will worsen, etc. Hospice will keep mom comfortable so she won't suffer pain as the disease progresses.

I'm sorry you and mom are going thru this, and I pray for a smooth transition for her and peace for you.

Has the doctor suggested Hospice or Palliative care? I would use this and would consult with them what comfort care now consists of. You don't want her to die, but with cancer of the throat at her age I am certain you recognize that this is what will now happen, and that it must be recognized and accepted so that comfort can best be provided now for as pain-free a passing as is possible. I am so sorry for this new for you. You have had your Mom for a long long time. She has dementia now, and quite a dreadful diagnosis. I would take on the mantle of obligation to make her passing as pain-free and easy as possible. That is the mission that Hospice is called to.

What would she want to do? If she would have wanted it treated, then get that done. She should not be denied treatment due to age or disability. If she wouldn't have wanted treatment, get her onto palliative/hospice care. If she were my mother and hadn't made her wishes clear, I'd opt for treatment. If it's too burdensome for her, you can always stop it. Please don't consider her life less valuable than someone younger or without dementia.

I'm sorry about your Mom's throat cancer diagnosis. Respectfully, everyone dies. No one gets out of here alive. You need to come to peace about this. This is your homework.

Your Mom should get palliative care along with hospice. They will give guidance about the morphine so that she suffers as little as possible. Your Mom has had a long life -- longer than most people. Count her blessings with her so that you can clearly see that it is all ok. I wish you all the best on this difficult leg of her journey.