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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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So my dad has vascular dementia and he is overeating. I give him full meals and he still wants more. I don't know how to stop him for him not to over eat?
Your father has a damaged brain from multiple mini-strokes that have killed thousands of brain cells. That means, his brain has lost many vital functions. This condition is incurable and will slowly carry him to his death. Why are you worried about his eating? Is he becoming grossly obese? Is there any medical reason why he should not eating that much? If these questions are negative, let him eat as much as he wants, but limit the amount of food available. Also, give him lots of salads or non-starchy vegetables, which are not harmful. Do not expect to be able to reason with him or try to change his behavior. You will waste your time and make him angry. You can also give him dietary fiber supplements, which it expands inside the stomach and makes people feel full.
I guess I'm going to take a different approach than most that answered your post. If in fact your dad has vascular dementia, then you already know that it is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of only 5 years, so I'm of the mind set that if your dad wants to eat, let him eat, as his time here on earth is very limited, and it may be one of the few things left that brings him any joy. I know in most cases it's not good/healthy for someone to overeat, but I think there are exceptions to that rule and your dad may just be that exception. My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and he died Sept. 2020, and looking back my husband wasn't a big eater, as he was completely bedridden the last 22 months of his life. But if he had been, I would have given him whatever it was he wanted, as I knew his time was limited. So I think at this point you must pick your battles wisely, and I'm just not sure this one is worth fighting. That's just my opinion. Instead I will say just enjoy whatever time you have left with your dad, and make sure you leave nothing left unsaid. God bless you.
This a problem I wish I had when my mother was sick. Looking back, I should have made sure that she was better hydrated and more food (calories) would have helped tremendously. I forgot that she was no longer able to communicate these needs.
Prepare just enough so that there aren't any extras, and keep any unhealthy foods he snacks on out of the house altogether. (of course this only works if you are in charge of meal prep and shopping)
Adding to Polarbear's ideas, serve meals on a smaller plate so it looks like more and seconds are just an illusion.
And try to find other activities to keep him occupied and that bring him pleasure (I know, easier said than done)
A glass of water before and during meals Less tasty but healthy food Food that takes longer to chew Small utensils so it takes longer to eat Chewing gums to keep his mouth busy
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I know in most cases it's not good/healthy for someone to overeat, but I think there are exceptions to that rule and your dad may just be that exception.
My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and he died Sept. 2020, and looking back my husband wasn't a big eater, as he was completely bedridden the last 22 months of his life. But if he had been, I would have given him whatever it was he wanted, as I knew his time was limited.
So I think at this point you must pick your battles wisely, and I'm just not sure this one is worth fighting. That's just my opinion.
Instead I will say just enjoy whatever time you have left with your dad, and make sure you leave nothing left unsaid. God bless you.
Adding to Polarbear's ideas, serve meals on a smaller plate so it looks like more and seconds are just an illusion.
And try to find other activities to keep him occupied and that bring him pleasure (I know, easier said than done)
A glass of water before and during meals
Less tasty but healthy food
Food that takes longer to chew
Small utensils so it takes longer to eat
Chewing gums to keep his mouth busy
Maybe a bowl of broth before meals, miso is great and has probiotics. We like green onions, kelp and sliced mushroom in ours.
I would get some high fiber food items and serve some with each portion, like sliced apple, sweet potato, broccoli, whatever he will eat.
Best of luck, this is so challenging.